Denial Is A River...

It's been a while since I've even touched this thing. As unexciting as my repetitive schedule is, a lot of things have happened as of late. Major changes, big events. I guess the biggest one would be that my brother Brady is now living with my mom in Pahrump. It's weird not having him around... even though he managed to be very annoying and upsetting at times, I miss having him around and enjoy the weekends where he comes home to visit and I can go out and do stuff with him. So far, him living with my mom seems to have worked out. It's the fifth week of school and he still has A's and B's. Hopefully he can keep it up. Dad has been a little less stressed since he's been away. I honestly think it's better for him not having Brady around all the time. Brady isn't like me when I was his age and my dad isn't very good at handling his immaturity. My dad's not used to having a 12 yr. old actually acting like a 12 yr. old. I was nothing like Brady at his age and I think my dad didn't know how to overcome the fact that we are different and Brady is just like any other normal 12 yr. old.

Lori found out a week or two ago that she's going to have another baby. It's going to be a girl. It's crazy to me that they're still having kids and I can't help but feel sorry for the children they are having. All I can do is hope my Dad is still around to watch them graduate... and if he keeps his stress level the way it is now, I don't know if that will happen. I'm never going to see this baby...or Zachary for that matter. In March of next year, dad and Lori plan on packing up everything and moving to Minnesota. I think my dad is making a big mistake. He's not happy with Lori, and rightfully so considering the way she treats him...and her...personality in general. Sometimes I don't know how my dad does it and I can't help but feel sorry for him. Lori can manage to be so degrading sometime. And I hope I never forget that. No matter how nice she becomes when I'm 20-something and I go to Minnesota twice a year and she acts like an angel... I don't want to forget the way she treated my brother, the way she treated me...and my dad. I have such a forgiving personality... but that is one thing I don't want to forget. We've never been children to her, or to her family...especially after Zachary came into the picture. I don't think she even loves us. Somehow it's our fault though, me and Brady's. We're made out to be the evel little stepchildren who treat her like shit... when all we've ever done is try to go along with her game.

I can't wait to move out... and not to have to deal with her. I'll miss my dad and Zachary very much...but it will be good not to have to hear her constant bitching. I'm embarassed that I still live with my parents sometimes...it doesn't fit my personality. I've always been such an independent person, if things would've gone my way I would have been out of their house when I was 17...but, well, stuff happened.

A co-worker of mine wants to be roomates and start looking for a place...but, I'd rather not live with him. He's not a big partier but...one thing wards me away from him... smokes weed. I don't care if he does but I couldn't have that going on in my house. I'm not willing to take that risk. I don't know how to tell him that though. It'll probably end up turning out pretty badly but...oh well. There's another guy at work though who is the complete opposite of him that offered me a room in his house. 500$ a month rent...which will be tough but I may be able to pull it off. If I sold my car and got my insurance lowered it would be verrrry easy to afford that but the 650 a month from the tag-team duo of my ride and liability makes it harder.

I've been working a lot lately...and going to school a lot lately. I think I'm starting to get worn down by it...I slept for 13 hours Sunday night... It's all cathing up to me. I dropped one of my classes because, well, there were a few reasons but the class was just unneccesary and I couldn't handle it with combined with my other four and work. Once I move out on my own the number of credits I can take a year may take a hit because I may need to work more to get the money. It's not something I want to do...but I may have no other choice. I need to step up my game at work and put in more of an effort to learn more and be more productive. I was talking to a co-worker about it the other day and he said I'm doing everything I should be for an 18 yr. old in an Architecture firm...actually he said I was doing more than expected considering I know so much AutoCAD...but, I know I can do better and...if I just simply did what was expected of me and didn't try and push the envelope I wouldn't be going anywhere.

I've lost friends because of my lack of time to hang out with them. Oh well, they weren't friends then. Simple.

Oh yea... I switched my major back to Architecture. I thought about it a lot and well, I don't need to explain it. It was the best move for me right now... I have my whole life in front of me to do whatever I want...and if I don't like what I'm doing I'll change it. Architecture is where I belong. End of story.

That's all for now.

i am a tool. it's that simple. i'm a mindless CADD monkey who could be replaced in a heartbeat. i hate my job. let me tell you why, and maybe it's just me...being stubborn and stupid. but here it goes.

the daily routine
---------------------

1. (this is the worst part) go to work
2. once i get there, pretend like i'm happy to be there, say hi to everyone.
3. get hot chocolate (i don't drink coffee)
4. go to my desk and sit down, maybe check my emails... usually don't have anything so early in the morn though.
5. draft... (that means draw pictures of stupid shit like doors...windows...how the roof goes together...what the sink looks like, you know; stupid crap like that)
6. draft
7. draft
8. " "
9. |
10. |
11. |
12. |
13. V
14. OMG look i'm still drafting.
15. lunch (praise the lord for this part)
16. during lunch... i'll eat. usually by this part though i'm regretting my existance. sometimes...i contemplate jumping off the roof in hopes of breaking my valuable clicking finger. maybe medical leave or something?
17. lunch is over, repeat number's 6 - 13
18. at 3:30 it starts to get bad. to the point where... i can't concentrate anymore because i'm so bored...and so tired from looking at that DAMN screen that i couldn't care less if a bomb blew up right next to me.
19. on really bad days at about 4:30 i may see my boss walk towards me... this means bad news. he'll say, "brett, are you able to stay late tonight"

pause

remember, going back to the first thing i said... i am a tool.

unpause

19 cont... I'll reply "no, no, what do you need done"
20. so now i'm there late doing the same stupid stuff...i'm just alone now. i swear, the cleaning lady that comes in is cooler than anyone i work with.

brb...it's almost 8:00 gotta call into work

okay back (cough cough)

21. i enjoy being their late more than i do during the day. i can turn up my music and sulk in misery and cadd lol without anyone there trying to cheer me up (damn those people)
22. go home
23. iron clothes, get ready for work.


yep, that's it! that's everyday. i put in my two week notice a few days ago, but they offered me more money to stay. a good amount more. i took the money, i need it. but i hate it. i hate that i took the money because now i feel like a power tool. (that's one notch up from just a tool). i was bought off like a damn whore. a cadd whore.

i just feel like, my work has no meaning. i get to use no creativity whatsoever...which is what i wanted architecture for. architecture is not what everyone thinks it is! i would be totally happy doing architecture if it was what they showed you architecture was in school. you know, getting to design these crazy buildings and having to defend why you did this and that. yea...out of our office of 50 people...3 or 4 get to do that. and they suck, bad. the sad thing is...the only way you can get to design those crazy buildings and actually do architecture is if you work for a really small firm. the only downside to small firms is you can hardly put food on the table for your family...and that's not an option.

i don't know what i want to be when i grow up :(

-----------------

in other news, all is good otherwise. i love being home and doing nothing. actually right now i'm playing this really fun game on my PSP. (i've started taking that to work now to cheer me up during my lunch break)

i can't wait til school starts...i'll only be working half the time i am now, that will make things better!

bye

all i could do was laugh the other night on the way home from work in my car. it wasn't even funny, in fact it's all really sad. thinking you know what you want to do... and then waking up one day and having no clue. i changed my major... but who knows if it was the right thing. i don't know if i want to be a teacher. there's so much to say and i don't want to say it. i'm to confused to even right it. i do'nt know. i don't know. how can anyone predict what they'll want and what they'll be happy doing in ten years. the pressure is to much and it's all happeneing to fast. i don't want the responsibility, and don't want deadlines, and expectations...exceding them, faling short. i hate not knowing.

i'm not sad, i'm just confused. i just want to go away somewhere far where all i have to do is play.

So, I did this t-shirt for a website. www.threadless.com

I submitted it...hopefully it will get accepted. If it gets accepted then it will be judged...in which case you all need to register at the website and give it nothing but 5's! But for now, lets just hope it gets to that stage.

I have my reasons behind the meaning. Form your own (mine was mostly political) Inspired by a glassjaw song...

Enjoy, feedback would be great. Comments, likes, dislikes, suggestions wooo

fuck live journal...

i wrote for about an hour on an entry and it totally deleted it...didn't post it...and made it vanish....

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO WASTED TIMEE11111111

Be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you, for they have reinforced your determination.

Be grateful to those who have denounced you, for they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

Be grateful to those who have made you stumble, for they have strengthened your ability.

Be grateful to those who have abandoned you, for they have taught you to be independent.

Be grateful to those who have deceived you, for they have deepened your insight.

Be grateful to those who have hit you, for they have reduced your karmic obstacles.

BE GRATEFUL TO THOSE WHO HAVE MADE YOU FIRM AND RESOLUTE
and helped in your achievement.

Well, I bought a laptop the day after Thanksgiving. Got a killer deal on it - couldn't pass it up. So now, I can waste time doing pointless things on the internet wherever my location may be... my bed (which is where I am now), school, a park, or maybe even the toilet if it's really important.

I don't know why I'm posting right now...I guess it's because 1. I kind of feel like I felt friends hanging after my last entry... and 2. I really want to start using this journal as a record of what's going on in my life.

I turned in my final sketchbook for my Intro to Architecture class last Wednesday which took a huge amount of weight off my chest. I'm so happy it was the last one, I'll be able to somewhat have a life now.

To be continued...I'm damn tired haha....

Well, I will sidestep the dream thing because there are more important things that need to be said. The reason I haven't done the dream thing in a few days is actually, honestly, because the past few nights have been mostly sleepless. And without good sleep, dreams aren't possible. This is why I haven't been sleeping well...

It was brought to my attention about a week ago that my dad is now taking my mom to court in an attempt to get more child support since my mom no longer has to pay for me. (Child support stops once you turn 18, obviously). Well, my mom has always wanted to pursue custody of my brother and, since they're already going to be at court over the child support thing, my mom's going to due it all at once and go for custody of Brady.

I knew this was coming I just wish this situation wasn't happening. The past few days I have been so torn up inside it's ridiculous. My mom asked me to write an affidivat explaining why I think Brady should live with her. I fought with myself the past three days on whether or not I should do that. One part, a large part, was saying that I need to stay out of it and let the judge decide based on the evidence that my parents present. The other part was telling me I need to stop being indifferent and say what I think is right, for my brother's sake. At that point though, I had to contemplate what I thought was right for him, which was extremely hard. The predicament this has put me in has drove me mad. I'm not to manly to say that I have sat in my room and cried my eyes out because I'm so fucking sick of being in this situation. What's the point of getting divorced if you're going to fight worst then when you were married. You might as well have stayed together! I'm so twisted in the middle, I have my mom telling me this and my dad telling me this that I don't know what's right and wrong anymore. My head is fucking numb and I can't stop shaking. (Which came at a really bad time considering I have a huge amount of sketches due for school). I wrote the affidivat for my mom very conservatively because I really didn't want my dad to feel like I was stabbing him in the back. I've told him why I'm doing it and that I hope he doesn't hate me for doing so. I love the hell out of my dad and although I think he was good for me, I don't think he's good for Brady. But actually, a large part of me thinking that is Lori. Sometimes the way Lori talks to Brady screams "I hate you." She always has this tone with him that she never uses for with anyone else. I don't care how bad Brady is, he shouldn't feel like he's hated by you. and he does. All she fucking cares about his her baby. And I'm not letting her and my dad move to Minnesota and take him away from our mom.

I really hope I did the right thing by giving my mom an affidivat. I told her not to use it unless the lawyer absolutely had to have it. Whether or not she keeps that promise, I don't know. I'm sure she will but you never know what a parent will due to have cusotdy of their kid.

I just wanted to wake up this morning and hope this all was a fucking nightmare and then I could come right about that here in whats supposed to be my dream journal. But this isn't a dream, unfortunately. Things are only going to get worst and I don't know if I'll be able to handle them.

Kids who live in healthy homes with happy parents are so fucking lucky. I dream of that. Why couldn't it work out between you two!? Don't you fucking see what your doing to me and Brady. Why do you two have to be so fucking stubborn. Why can I see that and you can't when you are supposed to be the adult and are two times older than me. Stop holding fucking grudges against eachother. You're hurting me more than you ever could imagine. Stop saying I know what you're going through. You don't! You're not the kind of person who hates hurting others, I am. And in this situation, it's impossible for me not to hurt somebody and I don't know if I can hanle that.

Who knows where Brady will be better off? I can think it would be with my mom but I could never know for sure until he actually lived there. My dad is convinced that Jerry is a drunk and would beat Brady if he was bad. But Jerry loves Brady like his own son and I'm sure he would never do that. But can I be so sure? Alchohol can do some fucked up things to people, and Jerry does drink a little to much on occasion. I've never felt threatened by him. I'm sure things would change though if Brady lived with them.

I don't know, I just need someone to tell me that writing that affidivat for my mom was the right thing to do because I'm not sure it was. And I shouldn't have done it if I wasn't absolutely sure it was the right thing to do. But how can I be sure what the right thing to do is when I have to people playing tug-of-war with my arms.

I can't wait to get away to California for Thanksgiving. I need it so bad. Brady needs it so bad. I need time to reflect on everything but there is no time with school and work. I wish I could just quit everything and give up. It would be so much easier. Why can't I make life easy on myself. What am I working so fucking hard for when all it will come down to is money. What are my intentions in life. What are my aspirations. And why the fuck am I even talking about this. How the hell did I get to this. I used to think that I was the only normal person in my house but now I'm starting to think that maybe I'm the most fucked up because of everything.

I seriously got to stop writing. I'm so dizzy I can hardly see the screen anymore. You know, I wish I believed in god so I could pray to him right now. If I did, I would. I wish there was someone up there who could make everything right. What a shitty world we live in.

Bright Eyes - Nothing gets crossed out

The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts.
My head is a carousel of pictures.
The spinning never stops.
I just want someone to walk in front
and I'll follow the leader.
Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush.
Started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs. I almost forgot who I was,
but came to my senses.
Now I'm tryin' to be assertive.
I'm making plans.
Wanna rise to the occasion, yeah
meet all of their demands.
But all I do is just lay in bed
and hide under the covers.
I know I should be brave
but I'm just too afraid of all this change.
And it's too hard to focus through all this doubt.
I keep making these "To Do" lists but nothing gets crossed out.

But if everything that happens is supposed to be
and it is predetermined, can't change your destiny.
Then I guess I'll just keep moving, someday, maybe, I'll get to where I'm going.

Sleep: 0200am - 0800am

In last night's dream I remember standing around in A-Tech; in that area before you go into the cafeteria. Kind of out in front of the office. I remember needing money for something and there was this guy who had a stand set up to give change to people. I went over there to see if they took debit (so I could get cash back) but they didn't. I remember feeling disapointed after that point, because I hate it when people don't have debit machines. I remember going into the cafeteria eventually but I don't remember what was there. There were a bunch of other people waiting like me though. Little groups of 4 or 5 people all grouped together in differnet spots of the room. There was also some sort of table set up inside the cafeteria, where they would usually hand out stuff during the course of the year.

I remembered this one, kind of =/

Sleeping Time: 1145pm - 0545am

I didn't remember any dreams from last night which kind of sucks. Oh well, I know I won't be able to every night right away. I think I did wake up after a dream though and I got up, but layed back down because I realized I didn't remember anything. There's always tonight though. I'll stay persistent :)

After doing research on dreaming for an upcoming speech, I stumbled upon a remarkable thing called Lucid Dreaming. I actually have been having Lucid Dreams for a while now (on occasion) and didn't even know that's what it was. For those of you who don't know, Lucid Dreaming is when you dream and in the midst of that dream, you realize that you are, in fact, dreaming. This may sound dull at first but think about it. Being able to do anything you want...you wanna fly? Do it! You want to shoot your boss in the face because he scolded you at work that day...get that gun! You want a vacation on a distant island with nothing around but trees with the finest coconuts...You can! Because, in our dreams, anything is possible. So by controlling your dreams and realizing you are dreaming, you have the power to do whatever it is you please (snicker snicker).

There are techniques to lucid dreaming, and that's what I've been reading about for a while now. The first thing was keeping a dream journal. So, guess what, I'm taking that and changing it. From here on out, this journal will become a DREAM BLOG! Every morning after waking up, I will already have my update page pulled up and ready for me to type on. I will immediately get to the computer seconds after waking up and write everything I can remember. This may be difficult to do first thing in the morning but I have to because it's almost impossilbe to remember your dreams for hours. In fact, by the time I get out of the shower in the morning, I've usually forgotten. And even if I haven't, the dreams are nowhere near as clear as they were when I woke up.

I will not bullshit anything. I will write down everything I dreamt without holding back; even if I had a very sexual dream which is very possible. So, starting tommorow morning, you all will know my dreams :)

long time no talking...

my coheed/cambria live dvd came today!!! rush delivery my ass...i was supposed to get it yesterday, a day early.

hey! so, i'm suppused to get this live dvd....wait...AHAHAH i ment to say something else. SHUT UP BITCH DAMN! okay listen..i'm supposed to get this full ride scholarship. yea thats right bitches... four years EVERYTHING paid for! EVERYTHING...muahahaha...and I found out today from the president of the boys and girls club that it's almost positive!!! party time mutha hoes...

so the dvd was awesome...they talked in an interview about their new cd! wow...i just got the chills. DON'T LAUGH AT ME SCOTT YOU BITCH! so anyway, it sounds really cool. and the drummer josh (brother of joey eppard - the lead singer of 3) came out with his cd for his band called weerdscience. hit up their site...it's funny (www.weerdscience.com). he raps...no really, they're a hip hop band hahaha...and they're awesome. peace to my homies.

im gonna buy my dads car for 500 dollars. good deal, ima get my cd put in it next paycheck...it's gonna be big! big like other things if you know what i mean. because tanks are big!!! i've been working 8 hours a day so...yea....

SCREAM LOUD... SCREAM SAYONARA OH OOHOOH...SWEET JOSEPHINE WILL YOU FUCK ME BACK HOME!

wonder showzen is so funny and so politically accurate.

i've been trying to play the guitar...it's hard...it makes my finger hurt...stupid pussy finger...wait, that totally didn't come out right. oh wait...that also was bad. damn... okay let me start again. i've been trying to play the guitar...it's hard...it makes my finger hurt...stupid weak vulnerable finger.

i might get another raise in a month or so

i read the da vinci code..i know so unoriginal and late brett...oh well, nothing new here.

i hope this post satisfies all my fans...because there are so many of you...im sure you were just dying to hear what was going on in my life.

oh yea...not having anyone to love and hug and kiss and snuugle and screw with has made me all suicidal.

PULL THE TRIGGER AND THE NIGHTMARE STOPS!

...wait to emo...

LIFE IS SO WONNNNDERFUL!

...wait to gay...

I'M ALIVE!

perfect...

i'm really disapointed with myself. i fucked up in cadd again. this will be the first time i haven't submitted something for a contest. there's no way i can have it all done by friday =/...i have to do my sections, the essay and tidy up everything else. i had a really good design to and i might have won 0_o? maybe...i don't know.

i was at work today for 9 hours! i got paid for 4.5...

i got home at 10 o'clock tonight from work...and need to do my lit. essay...i don't think i can, it's to late. i don't know if she's going to check it...she hasn't the last two times...just done peer editing...with my luck though, she will. this will be the only one for a grade. ahahaha oh god how things work against you.

speechless

Okay...so my mom was talking to my brother on the tele the other day and she goes "So Brady, you got a girlfriend for Valentine's day" Brady: "no!" So my mom says, "Why, you think they have cooties or something?" Brady: "Mom, nobody says 'cooties' anymore! We say coochie now..."

He has noooo idea...I laughed my ass off

So, after a long time of debating and discussing the situation with Scott, we have decided that we will attend UNLV as opposed to another out of state college. This is a good thing because, as it turns out...the deadline for U of Oregon's School of Architecture application was December 15th instead of January 15th. I turned mine in after Dec. 15th...go figure. Anyway, all the nervousness about going out of state was lifted out and replaced with so much excitement. I seriously can't wait to graduate and get my own place....I'm already looking through apartments and crap on the internet.

So...the home life isn't great right now...my mom and dad are in the midst of a huge battle over numerous things.

Works wonderful...I'm really starting to love it. I don't want to give it up...and this whole fight between my father and my mother might force me too.

You know, I'm so sick of worrying about what other people think about me. I'm done. If you want to say shit about me...or talk about me...I don't give a shit anymore. I'm done trying to live my life pleasing other people. I'm also tired of peoples sensitivity...and having to watch what jokes I say because well, some people are just incapable of taking a joke. I hate not being able to laugh and joke around my friends....I like it when people joke...lauch...make fun of each other (jokingly)...if it's all in fun wtf... If people are mad at me...hate me...whatever...I won't try to set things right..I just won't care...it takes too much of my time...and there isn't enought of it everyday to be wasted on stupid crap.

Now that I got that out, just wanted to say I'm not pissed off or anything...I'm actually very gippy right now, that was just something I needed to get out.

My car's still broke...that's okay...it won't be in Vegas much longer...Jerry's taking it to Payrump.

I choked on my monologue the other day...gotta practice that.

I still have so much to do for CADD...uhhhhh

The VIKINGS KICKED SO MUCH ASSSS! I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT...I WANT THE VIKINGS TO BE REMEMBERED AS THE TEAM WHO SENT BRETT FARVE TO HIS RETIREMENT...as for the Moss mooning the Packer fanssss! WOOOOO! What goes around comes around...all the shit they were saying about Moss/The Vikings came back to bite them in the ass. I bet they'll think twice before mooning the away team as they leave their parking lot in their bus. I hate all these analysts and critics to...please...stop being such a bitch and crying when someone does an "unappropriate" celebration...gimme a break...it was hilarious...unless your a Packer fan....hehhhheeheh

I want to see how long it takes people to notice the "new" thing about me...hehehehehe

Um...yea, I'm out.

i really like some people in this world. Scott is so cool i wish i could be just like him. He is so funny and smart, man is he smart. Have you seen his gpa? And he can skate like a pro, i mean im good in all, but wow, he's got skillS! everyone should get to know that boy, he is sssoooo cool!

New Years Resolutions

1. Stop biting my FUCKING NAILS! AHHHH!

2. Eat more healthier (how typical)

3. Actually, it's not really eat healthier...it's just don't spend so much damn money on food...bring in your own lunch for Moses's sake.

4. Stop being such a bitch to some of the kids at work even though they can get really annoying.

5. SAVE MONEY LIKE SCHINDLER SAVED JEWS! approx. 2000$ dollars would do that no?

6. Dont fall behind in CALC anymore (de ja vu anyone?)

7. Make MRV enjoy his last semester of work.

8. Finish this damn portfolio for the U of Oregon

9. Be a better friend.

10. Get laid... takers?

11. Kill SOMEONE!

12. Stop making mean resolutions *points finger at #11"

13. Win a contest in CADD <----tis a hard one it tis

14. Stop making resolutions because I should be sleeping!

To you two. I want this to be over, and it's almost there. I got so sick of all the animosity and fighting...I couldn't take it anymore. This is our Senior Year...that's live it up - be friends - and have sex...just kidding...about the last part...well, i mean with eachother...not witheachother...that just gross....us three ewwww... Also, I really wanna go to Mt. Charleston us three before winter is over...and this whole fighting thing is getting in the way of that. If amends haven't been made yet...make them, lets get this whole thing over with. It's dumb/petty/stupid/insert synoym of stupid here/etc....okay I'm rambling and I don't have time to go back and fix any of this so...okbye.

Trail of Tears

I heard you were trained
to be slain
Now that the war’s arranged
an early grave
How does it feel to finally be free?
I guess now you’ve been
all that you can be
They never told you how
the west was really won
But still we know, somehow
the deed got done
On our hearts or hands (?)
an allegiance we seek to display

Will the Trail of Tears evaporate some day?

Well Mr. Yin, meet Mrs. Yang
Hi, how’ve you been?
Ain’t seen you since the big bang
How do you do?
What will you do?
Now that you know, before you go
Who is who?
They never told you how
the west was really won
But still we know, somehow
the deed got done
On our hearts or hands,
an allegiance we seek to display
Watch out for Uncle Sam,
if you get in his way

Will the Trail of Tears evaporate some day?

You know God was known
For digging in his big toy box
Got up off the throne
And into the building blocks
The telephone must have rang
in outer space
He left earth alone
Wound up with the human race
They never told you how
the west was really won
But still we know, somehow
the deed got done
On our hearts or hands
an allegiance we seek to display
Watch out for Uncle Sam
if you get in his way

Will the Trail of tears evaporate some day?

---------------------------------------------------------

Hello all! Long time no posting...that's because Livejournal is only for losers though. So as you know if you saw my last post...my dog Champ died..."HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!! Because from no on, when you have your birthday, you'll always remember the day your favorite dog died!!!" This prior weekend was filled with crappiness. Let me tell you...

Saturday night I watched these two kids of my mom's friends. One was four (he was okay) and this other little shit head was two (she was a....blahhh!). This little girl would not stop fucking crying...no seroiusly...like for an hour, screaming as loud as she could...she gave such a horrible migrain I called her mom to come pick her up...it was so horrible, I have never had a kid that horrible and I work at the Boys and Girls Club!!! (We'll talk more about that later eh?) Then Sunday during the Viking game is when I found out that Champ got ran over by a car and eaten by the Coyotes. Then, the Packer/Viking game turned into complete bullshit due to the judges lack of the ability to call a good game (on both sides). That game was such bullshit, I swear. And I will argue it to the death when any Packer fan!!! (Yes Maureen, that means YOU!). OH yea, I spent 600 dollars on my car to top it off...YAY!!!!!

So, I was looking forward to work on Monday, hoping it would provide some kind of relief. For those of you who don't know, I got a job with the Boys and Girls Club again...I am the Computer Instructor at the McCabe unit. I love it, maybe even more than my summer job at Lied. But anyway, remember how at Lied...Josh was my most favorite kid there and then he left for the whole summer and I got all depressed. Well, at my new work, I started to have a lot of fun with this kid named Dave...can you guys guess what happened. Yes, you guessed right...god decided that I was having to much fun at work and removed the axis of it. Dave's brother was lifting weights in the weight room and busted his head open on the pull up bar. The ambulances had to come and he ended up getting a bunch of stitches in his noggin. It really bothered me though...not the face that his brother busted his head open...well that bothered me but, the look in David's eyes as he watched the paramedics come in to get his brother just made me want to...CRY! Yes, I know...Brett CRY! WTF!

So, I found out now that it is very unlikely David and his brother will be coming to the club anymore because their dad won't let them....Isn't that weird how that works out...maybe I should just pretend to hate all the kids so no one ends up leaving...something always happens to the kids that I like the most.

My job is pretty stressful but it's still great. I got dropped into a lot of unorganized shit from the last person that was in charge of the Computer room. There are so many things that need to be fixed and done...and you know me, Mr. Anal Organization...has to have everything absolutely perfect otherwise I go insane...Yesterday really sucked at work, I almost cried in the car on the way home....I KNOW! WTF!!! BRETT CRYING!!!

I got a 29 on my ACT which makes me practically THEE coolest person to grace this solar system!!!!

I go to Minnesota on Friday for a Thanksgiving together/Brother baptism....can you believe that I'm not going to be able to go to a Viking game when I'm in Minnesota because my brother's getting baptised on Sunday...JESUS! People need to get their priorities straight. Football takes priority over everything!!! EVEN JESUS!!!!! Yes, I know...send me to hell.....

I'm actually done with this now....