Way of the Rat

3:55am: huh

I don't really have much to say, its late and I'm tired. I did want to say though that it really sucks when you have to say good bye to people knowing that you are probably never going to see them again. I've been doing this a bit recently, but tonight I meet up with a guy that I'd been getting to know over the last two years. He was one of Lani's friends but he and I were getting to know each other and were forming a friendship, so we wanted to say good bye. Earlier this week I said good bye to another person that I knew. This is the time for that kind of thing, but its not something that I'm familiar with. When I left Portland I knew that I'd be back, here, I don't know that I'll ever be back. I really doubt that I will and the people that I know aren't really close enough friends that I would feel the need to come visit them, but its still wierd to say good bye to someone knowing its the last time.

So basically I guess I'm saying bye to everyone that I've meet out here. Ron, you were a good guy and its too bad I didn't get to know you better. Sylvie, I wish I would have had more chance to go to more SCA events with you. Kat, you were a good movie going buddy, but you can't hold your booze at all. Jill, you and I may have argued over lots of stuff, but I'm glad to know you, good luck with school. Josh, what can I say, I really want to hate you, but you make her happy and that's a good thing I guess, just don't hurt her. Everyone else that I've met but didn't include, good luck as well. Since I doubt any of you will actually see this it doesn't really matter what I say, but take care anyway.

12:20pm: back from canada

 

8:29am:  found my phone **happy dance**

9:55pm: so drunk
 somewher lastr nifgght i lost my phoine  in nthe drunkwen walk home. the last thing i remember is lani  saying "what, where the fuck did that come from"  around 9:30 pm. any5thing else, i'm too druncjkl  too notice andsg i'll deal with whern i'm sober.

10:39am: giant rats found
 this is the coolest thing ever. i need a few of these

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22290101/?GT1=10645

1:20pm: so i'm psoting this here in addtion to posting it on myspace, enjoy.

10:45am: my haiku

Haiku2 for howden
giving her any it goes round and round and round and in the stars i
@ aboutmylife.netadvogato.orgblogger.comblogs.gnome.orgblogspot.comdeadjournal.comgreatestjournal.cominsanejournal.comlivejournal.commyspace.comspaces.msn.com
Created by Grahame

8:47pm: Crazy?
they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. by this reasoning, i must be insane.

in other, brighter news, i have now been from coast to coast. i have seen both mighty oceans, the pacific and the atlantic, heard the crash of the waves, smelled the salt air and stared out beyond both horizons. i brought back with me a single souvenir, a vial of sand to be placed beside a matching vial of sand from the pacific.

8:11am: You cannot know how much I loved you,
You cannot know how much I cared,
You cannot know how much I desired you,
And you threw it all away.

I would have given you everything,
I would have given you anything,
I would have given you all I could,
And you threw it all away.

You cannot know the pain you've caused me,
You cannot know the hurt,
You cannot know the suffering I feel,
And yet still I love you.

The time has come to move along,
The time has come to go my own way,
The time has come to be alone,
And yet I still hope.

One day we'll be together,
One day we'll find happiness,
One day you'll be my girl again,
But not likely.

I still hope for you,
I still long for you,
I still dream of the impossible,
I still love you.

10:10pm: So what started off as a simple idea of finding a cheap spatchula (sp?) like i used as a kid, has become a quest of monumental porportions, as NO ONE carries them. No matter what store i go to, all they have are nice, good quality ones. No, I want the cheap pastic ones that bend and flex and are like an awful orange color. That's what i learned to cook eggs with and by god thats what i'm gonna cook eggs with now.

8:19am: Sorry for the ramblings
Its been along time since i've had anything worth saying, and i dont really think i have much to say right now, but i figure i'll say something just to get some things straight in my head and maybe throw them out to the wind.
( Read more... )

1:49pm: How do you sit back and watch someone you care about suffer in in ways they wont talk about, or cant talk about. YOu want to help, but cant and the more you try tthe worse you make it. You either do nothing or make it worse. But by doing nothing, you feel helpless and like its getting worse anyway.

2:46pm: New phone number
For those who would like my new phone number, its 301-653-4413. The old number will no longer be any good since i'm getting rid of that phone in exchange for a better one.

5:20pm:

What's your inner deity? by Eurudite
Name/Username
Godly Name	Mournamune
God/Goddess of:	Creation
Weapon of Choice:	Twin Swords
Area of Origin:	The Native Americas
Animal Familiar:	Cat
Weakness:	You're a lazy God/Goddess!
Guilty Pleasure:	You like to eat...
Little Personality Quirk:	You're a berserker
Eyes:	Metallic Purple
Hair:	silver
Special Features:	Ram's Horns
Quiz created with MemeGen!

4:34pm: Why the fuck does the goddamn fucking marine corps waste so much of my fucking time? i have to be where they tell me to be at least fifteen minutes early or i am considered late. And yet, when it comes to them, they have no problem wasting my time. Be it, not starting a formation on time, or like tonight, making me sit for an hour and a half for no fucking reason before they will come back to check the work that i had finshed when they came to tell me they were coming back to check it. IT WAS FUCKING DONE when they were standing there telling they would check it later. So i mention that it was done, but nope, it doesnt matter. They are coming back when they want and fuck anything else. Fucking great leadership right there.

4:18pm: So my car is totaled. Guess i'm gonna be getting another one. Its a good thing i wasnt all that attached to it. This does kind of suck though. Buying a car is kind of a bitch, but maybe i can find a better deal this time.

1:33am: What a night
So its been awhile since i've had anything worth updating, nothing really has happened much. Spending alot of time wih Lani, which is alot fun. She's an awesome girl. In fact i was at her place tonight, and on my way home when i ran into a very large tree limb on the road. Not sure yet if the car is total, but its pretty bad. Such is my luck with cars i guess. My insurance should cover it...i hope. Anyway, its been a long night and i need to sleep.

9:15am: Well the test came back negative, so thats good news.

12:20am:
You are RE-OPENING WOUNDS.
Synopsis: Most people have performed this at some
point in their lives, but it's the people who
constantly don't allow their wounds to heal who
are considered to "self-mutilate".
These people are often very detail-oriented and
notice the slightest changes in their
environment. They likely also are an excellent
judge of character.
Positive trait: Observant
Negative trait: Judgemental
Color: Black
Emotion: Anti-social
Animal: Wolf
Quote: "Stars, hide your fires; let not light
see my black and deep desires."


What form of self-mutilation are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2:55pm: Done with work until the new year. Today is a good day :)

11:37am: In a completly unrelated news story, my leave was approved today, so i will no longer be UA (unauthorized absence) when i dont show up for work for two weeks. This is a good thing, cause while being UA that long might be fun, legally it would suck hardcore for me. So on the note....

**HAPPY MONKEY DANCE** I'm going home


Thank you, that is all.

11:37am: 1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in. (Maybe.)
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written

6:26am: Its been a year
One year ago today, i got on a plane and flew to MCRD San Diego and started my time in the US Marine Corp. One year down and four to go.

10:29pm: Five years ago Aedyn was born. Four years ago was the last time I saw her. Maybe in another year it'll stop feeling like I should have done more.

10:54am: Damnit, as though things werent bad enough, no cause of the damned snow no one is working today so i cant get the results of my tests until monday. this may be a long weekend.