...tokyo here i come :)

i made it into sophia, although without a scholarship. my parents and i had a major talk though, and they are willing to fund me, if only to be able to grant me the same opportunity as my siblings when they studied abroad. the difference though is that they did graduate studies, and i'll be finishing my undergrad degree there. i hope i can manage to get really good grades for my first semester, so i can apply for a scholarship once i'm in japan na.

i've been doing alot of legwork, researching for a dorm, going to banks, fixing my ateneo stuff so i can withdraw from class and get a tuition refund by this week. i'll still be going to class though, i think, if my teachers let me. i enjoy my classes now, and kinda wish i could finish the sem : / *le sigh* equivalent trade, i suppose.

plug: visit my flickr, which shall be the new residence of my drawings/paintings. i've only got five up, and am reeeeeeeeally tamad to scan all my sketches, but i will get to doing something. eventually. ahahaha.

cheers!

i live! tamad, as usual to read/update.

i'm also rather sick of the way my layout looks, but am tamad to fix it. does anyone want to do it for me? a nice, clean, white simple layout will do :) i'll love you forever! as a reward, i'll even make you lunch or buy you a drink hahaha :D

* hypnotizes you to reply *

was supposed to start summer classes today. but opted not to, because of long and tiresome story. as follows.

i got to ateneo fairly early yesterday, since i wanted to get the slots i wanted, since i wasn't required for summer class. mabilis naman yung waiting time, practically no time at all, actually, and i got to the computer terminal thingy in about 15 minutes. whhen i got there though the guy who inputted my ID and who was supposed to enlist me in my classes couldn't, since my ID number wasn't recognized by the terminal. the regcom people called up the registrar's office and told me that i wasn't a registered student anymore. of course, i was like, WTF. so i had to go to the registrar's office and clear things up.

thank god i had a car, so i didn't have to walk all the way to bel from ctc, because it would have been more excrucitating than it already was. i get to the registrar's office, they ask me what's the problem, and take a look at my regform. they tell me to go inside and talk to this person, whoc checks my record. she says i've been discharged. as in, i'm not a student anymore. i'm flabbergasted, of course, and tell her i don't understand how that's possible. she calls up the IS department and asks the secretary something. the IS secretary, miss nora, knows me pretty well (thanks to my many registration mis-adventures), and is shocked to find that my computerized record is blank. all the while i'm racking my brains to try to figure out how something like this could have happened.

then it dawns on me. the day before, i had requested a transcript for my application to sophia (as it's a requirement), and paid a visit to the regitrar's office. i told the lady this, and she took a look at my request form. it turns out, that the staff who processed my request didn't read it properly and didn't understand that i was requesting a transcript for my application to sophia. so she was like, "ah, so you're only applying?" and i was like, "yes. it's not sure whether i'll be accpeted or not." because the staff misunderstood, they had given me a clearance form along with the transcript request form, which is for an honorable discharge. so they fixed something on the computer and put my record back. so for now, i'm back to being a "currently enrolled" student.

when i got back to ctc and tried to register for my advised classes, one class had already closed. i had only been advised for 6 units, so if ever i was going to take summer classes for ONE subject. they couldn't open a slot for me in the other class since i wasn't required to take summer. this wasn't my fault, and i'm sure i could have explained it well enough so that the department could have eased me in [it was the registrar's fault after all] , but i was so fed up and at my tipping point that i practically ran out of the room crying. i called my mom and explained what happened and we both agreed that taking one class would be useless. i'm not behind or anything so it's okay, i guess.

im weeeeell over it, and am actually happy that i don't have school to stress over. now i can concetrate on summer training, and other things so that i'll be back in shape (physical and otherwise) by the time the first sem starts. it just pisses me off on how they make you go through all this shit wihtout even giving a fuck after. to get the clearance for the discharge, one has to run all around campus and get signatures from different departments in order. if the people who had processed my request had taken a good look at my form and maybe asked me exactly what was my purpose for getting a transcript, then i wouldn't have wasted half a day getting those signatures. and i wouldn't have been discharged. and i wouldn't have had this hassle and would probably have had slots in the other class i wanted to take. talk about chain reaction. no matter how busy the registrar's office is during summer/summer registration time, i don't think it's any excuse for them to unceremoniously give a clueless student a clearance form (how was i supposed to know that that was for discharge? nothing was written on the form, and they had told me that i needed to do this in order to get a transcript. i needed the transcript, so i followed), and mistakingly discharge them from the school.

god. thank god i ran ito mingy heiz yesterday, so i was able to just whip all my anxiety away after a good vent. i couldn't agree with what she had said more; "this system works for some people, but more often than not, it's been nothing but pure hell for alot of us." i told ate dea about it too, and the end of the reply she texted back said, "i have one thing to say to you. get out of this country!"

hopefully, if i get into sophia, all this shit will be worth the trouble. thank goodness i managed to scrape a flat 3 this semester. there's hope. and i'll do my best.

the schoolyear is officially over! my last exam was this morning, and i managed to answer everything quite well. i hope i managed to pull my grade up to at least a B. and i mean, i think i deserve it for all my cramming work~ it's not that easy to read theology and actually absorb everything. ahaha.

the design pseudo-exhibit/presentation was also today. it wasn't really an exhibit, more than our block setting up and arranging our projects around the classroom. i set up my clothes like a clothesline:

( fruitea designs )

i talked to my design teacher, and as predicted, i'm more or less a sure B for my design class at this point. and i'm okay with it, funny enough. on the way home after the our "presentation" i had a little chat with my design prof, and he explained, in detail what he thought, and why he was giving me a B. he said that he knows what i can do, and that i am a good artist (his words exactly!), it's just that my output kinda didn't live up tp my talent [sic]. or, in other words, it was lacking the so-called x-factor.

i kinda understood what he meant, since i've been feeling kinda slumped with my work lately. most of my recent stuff hasn't been as good as it should be, and i've been settling for just average work, when i know i can actually do more than just that. and if you think about it, it's not like i couldn't have done anything better, since i had time, and if i had just planned everything out a little bit more carefully. ahahahahaha. what else is new. even then, i hope my QPI can be maintiained. i neeeeeed at least a 3. at the very least.

i don't know if maybe it's because i haven't really been doing any design work for myself and just for myself in a while, or maybe it's because i was just caught up in my other schoolwork, or maybe because i was distracted while i was working on my project stuff.i'm glad i'll have some time this summer to get back to drawing and doing fan-graphics/iconage to help get me out of the schoolyear lull, since i daresay i need the stimulation.

then it all comes down to that one little thing that constantly keeps tugging me, the fact that maybe i'm uninspired, or maybe it's because i'm not in the right place. as for the inspiration bit, i know that there's also no excuse, since i'm surrounded by lots of people and ideas. but then again all my "stimulation" around here is usually thanks to the internet @_@;; i think it's more of the setting bit, since during the schoolyear, i'm in such a limited setting... it's literally alabang-condo/katipunan/school-alabang every. single. week. if i do anything else, my grades will suffer.

bleh. thank god summer's here. or at least a couple of weeks of freedom before summer class @_@

i'll be saying this alot more often now i have nothing tod do/think about for class. and since i'm not sure what my QPI qill be like this sem. i hope i get into sophia. :( please pray for me :(

i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hope i'll make it into sophia u. :(

yay! i'm done~

click on the thumbnails to get the .pdf files.



the final presentation/exhibition is tomorrow. i'll be printing out the catalogue and poster, and i even borrowed a mannequin @_@;;

if i don't get at least, and i mean at the very least a B+ on this thing, i'm going to give my teacher the most memorable evaluation evarrr. ohohoho.

but seryoso. blood, sweat and tears, baby.

[edited: 11:50 pm]
reuploaded the files to sendsapce. fuck geocities.

wahahoohey. one more exam to go and that's it for sophomore year. just a leeetol more, and then here's to three weeks fo freedom before summer classes!

yesterday's tests were okay. not as easy as i would have liked (when is anything ever as you expect anyway?), but answerable. i wish i had studied more for history; the stupid crossword puzzle really fired my brain. there were some japanese terms i didn't manage to answer to my embarrasment. ah well. im sure i more or less passed, and hopefully my efforts won't merit my pre-final grade slipping. same went for sci 10; the test wasn't easy but i answered it and even managed to finish ahead of time. i know that my QPI's either going to slip a couple of points, but hopefully it won't be that bad. hopefully, and do i mean hopefully, i'll maintain a 3. i need to make an impression on those admissions people in sophia.

after pammy izkariote an i had a good hearty laught at the stand up comedy class' finals in mag:net last night, we had a lovely time unwinding over some warm sake and tmago sushi X3 it was a nice way to cap off the first day of finals week. it was an upper, so when i got back to the condo i made a couple of icons and even managed to sleep early. by the time i woke up this morning, i was very much refreshed and was able to pack in a good two and a half hours of studying for my test on thrusday.

i'm taking a break now, and will probably get back to studying in a bit. i set a goal for myself to finish this much of my readings by tongiht. i'm doing good so far. hopefully i'll finish everything so i can edit and finalize my design project.

i hope i do well in my finals, or wait, let me rephrase that: i hope that my QPI is okay this sem. i really have no idea of what i could get, since all my subjects are, well, malabo. not in the sense that i'm failing or anything, it's just that i don't really know my standing. i'm even more so anxious this time since i'll be applying to sophia. and my grades will matter. gaah, i hope that even if i slip down past 3 this sem that they'll accept me.

nothing to do really, but hope and pray for the best. and work hard.

がんばろっ！

this may be a really stupid question, coming from me. but where exactly is the smooth tool in photoshop? @_@;;;

after exams are over, i plan on making this my graphics journal, and having a different lj for my personal blog. as such, im kinda stressing over layouts during my study breaks :p

i kinda fixed my clors and such, but want to customize it the way along the lines of this journal, like with the sidebar background a differnt color, with different fonts for the headers, and the cute header/borderred box thingy behind the icon on each entry below the date/time. i can't find a tutorial anywhere. or maybe i'm just not looking hard enough.

can anyone help? please? :(

freaky.

Rina took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Pursues her objectives with intensity and does not..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

I hate it when I'm compared.

< fangirl >

I just finished my speech for my Japanese class speaking test. And I actually used the word "kizuna." And I mentioned Nobuta wo Produce in it too, since its main premise is about friendship.

ahahahahaha.

< /fangirl >

青春アミーゴ（コラス）
シー　俺たちはいつでも二人で一つだった
地元じゃまけしらず
そうだろう

Seishun Amigo (Chorus), theme song to Nobuta wo Produce
SI oretachi wa itsudemo futari de hitotsu datta
Jimoto ja makeshirazu
Sou darou


must. get. seishun. amigo. out. of. my. head.

nyaaaao. book report. book report. book report.

Tagged by ezraelandvari:

What is your username?
>> Fruitea (pronounced froo-tee, not froo-teh-a). Sometimes I use LaFonz or Fonzy. I'm nozomu on DevArt. Haven't updated that one in a while though.

Write a little paragraph about your name, why you chose it, what it means to you, etc.
>> I concocted Fruitea py cramming the names of two of my favorite things together (go figure what they are). I like fruits because they're yummy. and FRUiTS is my favorite Japanese street style magazine. And I am addicted to tea. I can't live without tea. LaFonz and Fonzy are both warps of my real last name. :3 Nozomu means "to wish" or "to hope/aspire" in Japanese. I aspire to be a real artist someday. So there.

What would you change your name to, if you were changing it?
>> Hrm. good question. But I think I'll have to get back to you on that one. I'm pretty content with it for the moment :3

Why that?
>> n/a

What is your favorite username?
>> fruitea and nozomu suit me fine :3

Why?
>> fruitea is kawaii. ♥

Now, tag five other unfortunates whose usernames you would like to hear about.
pandora__
heiz
asianscaper
sosuemethen
keio

---

must work. procrastinating again. nyao.

if anyone has a copy of the font clarendon please let me know :( i need it.

that's it. thankies. :3

and now i shall customarily list down the stuff i need to do before and for next week, so as not to cramming over the weekend (since i never get any work done at home anyway):

1. finish reading for and writing Sci10 book report (due monday)
2. read the chapters needed for design class tomorrow
3. read for theo
4. read for history quiz friday
5. 日本語：日記をかいて
6. 日本語：漢字１２＆１４課
7. 日本語：スピーチをかいて
8. sketch designs for design class (tues next week)
9. draft of catalogue next week + brand name and text logo

* 日本語は全部金曜までやらんと。



personal shit.
**stop looking at bishie pics (@_@;;)**
1. make new icons (max out 6 spaces)
2. draft new lj layout
3. experiment with making textures and stuff.
4. email ate dea.

download list:
1. densha otoko (15%)
2. nobuta wo produce
3. brother beat
4. dragonzakura


i will be good. i will do my work. and i will maintain my QPI. i must. i must. i must.

I decided to skip training again today to finish some work. Or try to, at least.

I've been incredibly lethargic recently, and haven't been really doing much except schoolwork and fangirling over dramas and stuff. I've been wasting time on the internet - and i mean, really wasting time, not even trying to go around and look at designs or browse through the Design Archives for ideas and reference. Just literally staring at my email inbox, or bittorrent download window. and doing nothing.

nyargh. I should reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally get back to work, and do all my projects well, but for some reason, no matter how much I attempt to force myslef to work, I sink back into my computer chair, or collapse onto my bed.

It's not that I'm not motivated or anything, I do have very specific goals I want to achieve, nor is it that I'm doing more than I can handle. (I've managed to improve when it comes to that - I've discovered that getting enough sleep does wonders for you. ahaha. :D) I'm just tired, I guess. Not busy-running-around-campus-and-to-and-from-the-condo-and-school tired, but mentally and emotionally tired, more like. Like, I'm tired of having to go to school and having to put up with subjects that don't interest me. Like, I'm tired of having to put up some types of people (the kind i hate-tipong people whose lives revolve around they're cellphone and who cry if they lose it) for the sake of keeping peace in class or what. Like, I'm tired of being dependent.

I'm tired of the way things are. I'm thirsty for change. I'm hungry for something new to explore.

Maybe it's because I've been to quite a number of places and, lived aborad, and have seen a fair amount for someone my age. It's funny, sometimes I hate myself for knowing about the world outside the one I live in, since it makes me discontent and even selfish to a point. Sometimes I think that it might've been better if I hadn'y experienced all the unusual things I have. Because maybe then I'd still have that sense of childlike wonder and awe for the new and exciting. And I'd be able to pass through the rest of my college life in peace and contentment, not hoping for anything so superfluous or unreasonable. Maybe I'd be more content with how I am, and with who I am. Maybe then someone would actually like me like that.

...

okay. enough angst. :p

anyone know where i can ask someone to code a layout for me? :( im attempting to design my own Lj layout but have no clue when it comes to coding @_@;;

i've been in nerd mode lately, which, in rina-speak, does not necessarily mean being productive with schoolwork. i've been watching an obscene amount of japanese dramas and anime lately, not mention reading manga (raw, if it can be helped) again. maybe it's because i've finally gotten back in touch with 麻ちゃん＆中ちゃん again, but i mostly think i'm getting japan-sick again.

i know its not the time to get angsty again, nor to hope for things that are out of my reach for the moment - not impossible, mind you, but still not possible in the immediate future. but yeah. i really want to go back to japan (T_T)

i've been giving alot of thought to what i want to do after college. mom and dad are always going on about graduate school and the future, so i guess the topic kinda unconsciously sticks with you. in relation to me being japan-sick and what, i've decided that i really want to go back to japan, and maybe first get a master's in japanese or something. for a couple of years my mom and dad have been supportive of sending me to a design/art school in the US, but i think i can put that dream on hold for a bit. i mean, you don't really need a master's in design in order to be a good designer, right? :) but you definitely have to study a little harder and take formal education in order to master a language.

when i tell people that i want to continue learning japanese, everyone usually gives the same reaction.

"what?! you don't have to learn anymore japanese! you're fluent!"

contrary to popular belief, i may have good pronunciation and am capable of carrying out decent conversations, but i am far from complete fluency. i can't read/write much kanji anymore (i've forgotten them all since coming home, it's the non-usage), and my grammar is a nightmare. i write like i speak, and although i am getting decent grades in my japanese language subject this semester, sumida-sensei always has to make grammatical corrrections to everything i write (-_-;;)

so there.

i hope i can make it. for now though i really have to shape up and get my grades straight for that japanese government scholarship. grr.

i wonder sometimes though, is it wrong that i've got my heart set on leaving the country after college? (not right away, probably, but eventually) more and more you get these seminars helping people weigh their options so that they can decide if leaving is really the best option for them. is it just because that all my siblings are abroad and that my parents have been drilling it in my head that i'm better off somewhere else that i've got this conviction? i'd like to think that i'm sincerely better off somewhere else, where there have been no preconcieved conceptions of who i am. surely, i can't escape who i am, and my roots - and if you know me well enough, hell, those things are the last things i'll forgo - but it's different when people know you because you studied at this school, or are related to this person, than from when people recognize you for who you are and what you've made of yourself. japan was the first place where i made something of myself, by myself. maybe that's why im drawn to it so much.

well.

three more weeks left of school, whee~ and OMFG$%&^@!! at the same time. i dont want school to end yet because i think i really fucked up this semester, and need seriously need to get my grades into better order first. time time time is what we all need, i think. ね？そんなもんやんな。(osaka ben alert)

i want a new, simple, and clean layout. i think i'll design one myself, but need someone to do the coding for me - can anyone help? :( i'll give you credit on my info page and make you icons and schtuff. and you will have my love :D

if anyone knows anyone who's looking for a place to stay along katipunan by the way, do let me know! two of my roommates are leaving and we need occupants :) if you're interested, note that you must be a girl. common sense, though, really :p

ほんじゃ。これで。

carry over from my period bitchiness perhaps? but i think some people might agree with me on this one.

i was kinda ticked by the lecture we had in our sci 10 class today. our teacher went on about what kind of people scientists were and what is it exactly that they do or for what cause they pursure their endeavors.

from what i got from the lecture, scientists have no higher purpose and do not care what other lesser mortals think, as long as they can publish their journals and continue doing research. you shouldn't even expect them to be good teachers or be eloquent, our professor said, so if you don't understand what the scientist in question means in his or her journal or lecture, it's your responsibilty to make sense of it, since its not their responsibility.

whatever, i mean, they're free to believe in whatever they wish, or think whatever they want to think. i just find it kinda weird though. if you say that you're not really supposed to teach well, or if you don't really want people to understand the stuff you publish then what's the point? i guess what i'm trying to say is that i don't understand the point of scientifc research or whatever it is that scientists do if they do it solely for the sake of doing it. apparently noble causes are rare.

i might be mistaken, but this is what i grasped from the lecture this morning and i'm just being very cynical. in any case, when you think about acquiring knowledge for the sake of it, it's more or less at par with art for art's sake. right? can't and won't be vindictive about that. :p

i'll be off to shanghai in a bit~ our flight leaves 10:30pm so we'll be leaving home at 6ish. kinda sucks, really, that we don't have as much time as expected since our flight is at night... we're wasting a day :( dad says we'll never go on a package tour again, hehe.

im excited to see a place ive never been to before, and also eager to go shopping! hehehe. my mom's so cute, she packed empty suitcases just in case we need more room! hahaha i guess she really plans to go shopping... and im not complaining :)

pikon lang it'll be winter weather... which means coats and thermal underwear X( i dont mind layering, its actually fun, but i do mind the cold. brrr.

in any case, here's to a happy new year to all of you~ i'll see you all in 2006 :3