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This Cooperative is Decidedly Uncooperative [Mar. 11th, 2006|07:05 pm]
I almost got in a fist fight with several large African women last week.

Let me back up a bit….

Last July, I applied for and received a grant to create a small orchard of bananas, citrus, guava, and other fruits with the women’s cooperative in Agmamine. The cooperative had approached me a month or two earlier, basically guilting me into doing “something” for them. Until this project, I had only worked with them in the gardens, planted trees, learned their language, and struggled to adjust to the freakiness that is village life. Obviously, I wasn’t holding up my end of the bargain. Guilt-trip successful.

Anyway, they said they wanted fruit trees, so I am helping them out. I made a couple of proposals to them of what we could do. They were required to make a 25% monetary contribution to the project, so it was somewhat dependent on what they could afford. We settled on a plan. A one-hectare plot adjacent to the current co-op garden. The budget would purchase the trees, chain-link fencing, barbed wire, fence posts, chemical fertilizers and pesticides, gardening tools, and labor for the installation of the fence. It was agreed that the new solar water pump installed by World Vision in the other garden would provide enough water for the project. They agreed to contribute 25% (154,000 UM – about $575), and I applied for the grant.

We had to wait about two months for the grant money to work its way through the Peace Corps bureaucracy. In that time, I made a few observations about the proposed project that I thought could improve it… allow us to get more out of our money. My more intense search into the best uses for this money derived from the lack of water for the project. The solar pump was not in operation, and WV was taking a long time to fix it. I wanted to see if we could find money in the budget to dig a well in the new garden, so that we wouldn’t have to depend on another organization’s maintenance plan for a technology not exactly appropriate for a small African village.

I figured we could nix the chemical fertilizers and pesticides. They are quite expensive, need to be applied regularly, and are easily replicated at no cost using organic sources. We had budgeted money to purchase cloth to create a individual windbreak for each tree. We can do the same thing with palm fronds at no cost.

The biggest change was with the location of the garden. We had budgeted for metal fencing, barbed wire, and metal fence posts. The proposed location of the orchard placed it very close to two other fenced-in gardens: the cooperative vegetable garden and the village-wide fence around the fields. If we could share some of the fencing and fence posts and create one large garden, we would free up all of the money dedicated to fence posts. There was a five meter gap between the two co-op gardens and the village fence. If we could close that gap and share fence posts, the co-op posts could be used for the extension.

If we did all this, we would have enough money to dig a well and make a basic irrigation system. We would be maximizing the potential of their available resources and gaining something extra and highly valued as a result.

I presented these ideas to all the necessary people: the President of the Women’s Co-op, the WV people working in the area, members of the community, Peace Corps. Everyone said it was great, yea, let’s do it.

We had quite a bit of money to spare. I told the President we could dig two wells if we got a good rate. I told her to find a well digger, stressing not to mention that a white person is involved. Prices magically rise (out of respect, I’m sure) whenever we walk in the door. And I didn’t know anything about wells (nor did anyone else I asked… the fees ranged from 20,000UM to 300,000UM per well). But, she’s a complete idiot and brought the well digger to me. We discussed the price, and everything was much more expensive than I anticipated. I told this to the President (hereafter indicated with the initials PBB)… that we would be able to dig one well and that’s about it. She said okay, no problem, have this guy dig it.

He dug it… it took him about three months, but he did it. His work was top notch, but he wasn’t exactly reliable. Masons/well diggers are a bit difficult to deal with in this country. They take a job, get a small advance, and then disappear for two weeks, work for two days, disappear for another couple of weeks. They aren’t just chilling at home during those absences, they are out everywhere doing the same thing to dozens of other people. They grab up every job they possibly can.. if they aren’t quick with getting the new ones, someone else will.

Everything was a pain with the well, but it was getting finished. Meanwhile, we were waiting for all of the materials to come from Nouakchott. I ordered them in October, and they didn’t show up until February. People started wondering where their money went.. why the materials hadn’t shown up yet. I held all of the money for the project… money and materials have a tendency of disappearing in the cooperative. Whenever I bought anything for the project, I always got receipts and informed PBB. I told her before and after I bought anything. Everything was stored at my house… again, things disappear at PBB’s. But that doesn’t mean that information was trickling down to the typical co-op member.

The well was finished and the materials finally came. We decided on a day to install the fence, and I talked to the men assigned to work. I had contracted ten men for four days of work. They had already worked three days in October installing the four cement corner posts for the large garden. We stared at those four corner posts for four months in anticipation of the arrival of the fencing. You couldn’t miss them. And, standing in the middle of nowhere, you couldn’t not know what they were for.

We were beginning to move the first part of the co-op vegetable garden fence when PBB stormed up.

“Don’t touch my fence!” she bellowed. “You’re going to break it… goats are going to come in and eat everything.. I said don’t touch it!”

I thought she was just joking with us.. the men did too. But she didn’t stop.

She said someone from WV came and told her that we couldn’t combine the two gardens. She said that he said they were two different projects, and “my” project had to be separate.

Funny, I had cleared the project with the person she was talking about. He, in fact, thought it was a great idea that we should definitely do.

We fought and fought. She said I promised them two wells and a pump system and that I didn’t do any of it. She said she had no idea where any of the money they gave me for the project went. She said she didn’t know anything about the proposal to combine all of the gardens together to save money on the fence posts. Point driven home by the co-op Secretary commenting in the background, “I’ve never heard of a garden without fence posts. I called them stupid cows, cussed them out in English, and left.

Decided to lock myself in my house and sleep all day… forget about the fact that all the things people were saying were completely false and exaggerated and that I couldn’t do anything about it. So I slept for five minutes. Then I could hear the distinct clamor of PBB outside and knew that I couldn’t stay around that. I packed up a bag and walked to Kankossa. Found a truck to Kiffa that evening, and the next morning found myself in the office of the WV person that PBB was quoting. He didn’t know what I was talking about. He said PBB was crazy, that her language was broken, and spent most of the meeting just shaking his head. We planned on a few meetings in the village to fix the problem, and I was on a WV car at noon heading back. The meetings never happened, and I headed down to Dakar for a completely amazing weekend being American, drinking beer, eating hot dogs, swimming/throwing people in a swimming pool, playing softball, and forgetting about PBB and the coop of chickens waiting to peck my eyes out when I got back.

I got back and had the WV person call PBB to clear up the problem. She said, alright, we’ll do whatever you want. I head back and have a meeting with the cooperative as a whole. Same stuff.. I didn’t tell them what I was doing.. blah.. blah.. headache. With the garden consolidation, they had two problems (that never surfaced when we talked about consolidating them months earlier and they agreed) 1) they wanted to leave the five meter wide path between the cooperative gardens and the village garden for animals and people to pass through and 2) some women in the cooperative didn’t buy into the fruit tree orchard, so they wanted the two cooperative gardens to be separate. The only reason we couldn’t do those things now was we didn’t have any fence posts. We used that money to dig the well. If we combined all of the gardens, we didn’t need to buy fence posts. If we created a new, independent garden, we would need to find some. And we didn’t have any money left in the budget.

Still, the cooperative decided to do what WV told them to do.. which was, to do whatever I told them to do. They want to keep WV happy; they give out things for free, like two wells, kilometers of fencing, and solar water pumps. We decided to install the fencing in two days.

The night before, PBB called me over to the garden. They had “found” some fence posts from a previous project, and if fence posts was the only thing holding us up in doing what they wanted to do, they asked if we could just use these. I said sure… wanting it all to be over. I wanted to combine the gardens for a few reasons (namely, the responsible utilization of their resources…. Two rows of beautiful fence posts feet away from each other separating land owned by the same person is a ridiculous waste). But, I just wanted to be finished with it. So the women started pulling up fence posts to be put in the ground for the new garden. Then, somewhat casually, they said they should be paid for doing the work. I brushed it off.. told them I wouldn’t pay them for work they are doing in their own garden.

I had already contracted ten men to install the fencing on the next day. I would rather not pay anyone in the village for that kind of unskilled labor. It seems like the community should come together and get things done. Or at least the women in the cooperative could be counted on to do some work. But, as the cooperative has repeatedly proven over the last two years that they can’t be and the men wouldn’t work without being paid, I paid the men. Women in the cooperative showed up on work day and continued to pull up the posts from the other garden and bring them to the new site.. Everyone helped to install the fence. So the fence went up with minimal problems.

That evening, I gave the money to Issa (my friend/counterpart who acted as the foreman for the day) to distribute to the men. I ate more dinner than I had been lately and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Issa and a few other men woke me up around midnight. Issa handed me the money. PBB had been to his house demanding that the money be split up between everyone that worked to install the fence. That would amount to about five cents for a day of work per person. He said the men decided they would do the work without charge. They didn’t want a problem. I told them I would deal with it in the morning (in my best cranky, half-asleep demeanor) and slept through the knots in my stomach.

There is no reason in the world that I would pay cooperative members for work in their own garden. Is that not a ridiculous notion? I shouldn’t be paying anyone in this village for unskilled labor. But, if I have to pay anyone, it will be people that aren’t in the cooperative. Should I pay them to water their plots? To wash their clothes? It’s absurd, and I had no problem telling them that. They even thought it was ridiculous.. I could see it in PBB’s eyes when she was yelling her case. The look that she was trying to get away with something and was pretty sure she wasn’t going to be able to.

The next day, I personally delivered the money to each man that helped out. Before they worked, I told them how much money they were going to get. So, I gave them that amount. Simple. I told them if the women ask them about it and have a problem, come to me.

They found me that evening.

I was walking down the hill on the way back home when they intercepted me. They had just had a meeting to discuss their new issue, so they were appropriately fired up. One woman (karate man’s wife) started in.

“If you don’t pay us, then tomorrow, the women are going to go down to the garden and tear everything up… we’re men.. why aren’t you paying us?”

I told them it was their garden.. if they tear it up, they are tearing up their garden. And I’m not going to pay to fix it.

At that point Toutou (let’s call her Kong… she’s freaking huge and could rip my arms off and wear me as a jacket) dittoed Karate Man’s wife, grabbing my arm and pulling on my shirt to get my attention.

I backed away giggling a little bit (is this really happening?).. PBB told me I should go and another man showed up saying they were crazy and that I should go. I didn’t think it was getting too serious, but I was tired of it and headed home.

This was all happening on the hill.. everyone in the village could hear and see what was going on. Issa’s wife had started up the hill to try and diffuse the situation. At the bottom of the hill, Magou (my host mother) was watching with a big stick in her hand, ready to use it if Kong made a move.

I didn't pay them and I won't.

I won.

So that was how it happened.
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Mauritania's Wild Kingdom [Oct. 3rd, 2005|02:43 pm]
I was talking with a friend, and I couldn't remember how to say "monkey" in Hassaniya. So, my sister jumps up, runs to the house, saying she can help us figure it out. She pulls out a Fisher Price Pocket Camera vintage early 80's sent to us by the church back home.

Silly, Mahmoud would look at the picture, then pass it to me and tell me the name in Hassaniya and Pulaar. I wrote them down, and thought I should share...

Tiger – nmirr (has) mbargan (pul)
Giraffe – iz-ziraffe (has) njumala (pul)
Lion – is-sba (has) mbawrudi (pul)
Bear – ndumsa (pul)
Elephant – il-viil (has) nyiwa (pul)
Gazelle – daami (has) lella (pul)
Gorrila – azbit libhar (has) damorru (pul)
Monkey – likhmiis (has)
Rhinoceros – boobinyase (pul)
Swan – ilwoosa (has)
Crocodile – boodasoo (has) norda (pul)
Zebra – mbamsayne (pul)

According to Mahmoud, my over anxious Pulaar friend from Lihraj Jam Jam, there was a huge forest between Agmamine and Kankossa when he was a child, during “our fathers’ time.” One couldn’t go to Kankossa alone, as there were many crocodiles and hyenas. He said there were also elephants, gazelles, monkeys, lions, and something like a tiger (though tigers aren’t found in Africa). They left, he says, when more people started migrating to the area from Senegal, Morocco, Chad, and Burkina Faso. His grandfather came from Burkina. The animals were either scared by the masses of people or were killed by them. Those that didn’t die or migrate south, went to the hills. There is a crocodile pond outside of Kiffa with a few monkeys hanging around in the hills – monkeys in the rocky hills of Aioun – hyenas in the southeast of the Assaba near the Malian border – monkeys around Bogue – the occasional hippo in the Senegal River. I’ve only seen little prairie dogs on the road between Kiffa and Kankossa.
The disapperance of these animals in such a short period of time so recently presents a good natural experiment on how and why ecosystems change.

Mahmoud said the animals left as a result of human pressure (i.e. overhunting and fear of humans). What other factors could have contributed to the animals’ departure? Were they mostly killed off by humans or did most of them migrate? Was there a change in the climate/vegetation? What effect (if any) did the animals’ departure have on the environment? Why do Mauritanians believe the animals left? Are there any variations between their assertions and those that can be argued more scientifically? What animals actually could be found in Mauritania (i.e. Mahmoud’s tigers)? Fun, interesting questions that would be worth finding answers to.
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Money [Oct. 3rd, 2005|02:37 pm]
The cooperative handed me a wad of 154,000UM this morning. They gave me their contribution after a week of intensive head bashing… trying to get all the members of the cooperative together to collect the money. 77 members in the cooperative, 2000UM each. Money is really tight now, so it’s understandable that it is difficult for people to find an extra 2000UM. But, the cooperative does have a boutique that has a stash of money. Someone came up with the idea that if a woman couldn’t pay, she can borrow from the cooperative boutique and pay the loan back when the harvest comes in. Not a problem for most people. Some would vanish when the collectors came around; they were at the fields or in the city or at a marriage. Everyone knew what the deal was, they were just avoiding the decision for some reason. So we had to wait for the President to find and talk to them. Everything has worked out today, and hopefully, I will be able to purchase the materials for the project when I go to Kiffa.
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Hit Me Baby One More Time [Oct. 3rd, 2005|02:34 pm]
Had a dream that I was dating Britney Spears last night. I called her “sweetheart” and she made some gesture that made me think she didn’t like me saying that. My response, “Sorry, I don’t know why I said that..”.. then she said, “Why are you sorry?”

Women are so confusing.

Along those same lines, President Big Boobs called yet another meeting to collect the money from the women for the fruit tree project. Again, I told them how much money I need to collect from them to purchase the materials. I couldn’t understand most of what they were saying or even the tone of the meeting. “Strong language” makes its way into every conversation. A way for people to show how strong they are I suppose. It sounded like a fight anyway.

Occasionally, someone would slip and call me a nisrani (white person, Christian), and Magou and Chebayb would tear into them, saying that they know perfectly well what my name is, that I am from Agmamine now, that this is my home, and that whoever calls me that has to give me 1000 ougiyas (mauritanian currency). That made me feel pretty good.

In the end, I think the meeting was successful. People don’t have money to contribute, but I think they will take it out of the cooperative boutique. When the harvests come in and people have money, they will reimburse the cooperative. They are supposed to meet at the boutique this afternoon to collect the money.
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Musings on The Meeting to Discuss the Problems of Agmamine; or, Sojourn to the Center of Hell [Oct. 3rd, 2005|02:30 pm]
Armed with my long-held propensity for calling meetings and an unfounded optimism built up from watching too many Jimmy Stewart movies, I organized a gathering with the “big people” of Agmamine to discuss and prioritize the many problems that they face. The idea being, a community must talk about its problems as a group to find innovative solutions acceptable to everyone. People in the village do not regularly meet to discuss the development of Agmamine. They talk about their problems, but it is not in a way designed to solve them. Simple… call a meeting.

A healthy community provides an environment where all individuals can contribute to the development of the community. Fatou might think that access to potable water is the problem that deserves the most attention. Issa’s priority might lie with improving agricultural productivity. Brahim might have a new idea on how the village can construct low-cost fencing. These many individual possibilities can be explored in an open, group environment.

I wanted to bring everyone together for the opportunity. I told the Chief about the meeting, and he said he would inform the village. The village is small, but I didn’t feel like I could or should go to every house to tell people about what I wanted to do. It seemed like a chiefly responsibility that the bastard would wolf up and feel good about himself for doing. I told people that I saw in passing as insurance, but I was depending on him.

That is not to say that the failure of the meeting was due to his not telling people about it. It would have been worse if more people showed up. However, the failure was in large part his, though not for that reason. His mind was closed, and while many people in the village don’t respect him, he set the tone for the meeting.

Agmamine cannot be called a community. It is a cluster of mud houses thrown on the side of a sand dune. It is strained subsistance on dwindling resources. It is selfishness, hard work, dusty children, and hot. And I come in from a three-week hiatus at Peace Corps land all bubbly and fluffy with my idea of helping the community formulate a plan for their development. Silly silly me.

I’ve been told that I need to lower my expectations. Yep.

The meeting started off on a bad note. Some people had shown up, but I was waiting for a few specific people to come. The chief was getting antsy and wanted me to start. He was filled up with as much confidence as he had; he knew he had the power in this circumstance, and I knew he was going to use it to his own advantage. I haphazardly began, somewhat agitated, saying that the reason I called the meeting was to get them together to find solutions to their problems. I gave them the little talk: you can’t solve your problems if you don’t come together and find solutions together. I told them that I wanted to make a list of what they considered their most pressing problems, then we could talk about different ways of fixing them.

Silence… silence… silence. A couple of minutes at least.

Then I asked them more sternly, “What are the problems of Agmamine?”

The chief said Agmamine has two problems: they need someone to pay for a well or a robinet (running water) to be installed and they need someone to pay for metal fencing for the gardens and fields. He completely missed the point. After he finished, people began arguing (or just talking, I still can’t tell the difference many times). I went over to my friends Issa and Brahim to figure out what should happen next. I suggest that we form two groups, one for each problem, of open-minded people willing to talk about different possibilities. They can set the meeting times, and when they have a few new ideas, they can present them to the community, and the community can decide what to do. Issa and Brahim liked the idea. No one else that spoke, did.

The chief completely discounted the idea, saying that we don’t need to talk about anything, we already knew the solutions – make requests to outside organizations to give them what they needed. Okay. I’m certainly not going to be the one making those requests. He better find someone else that knows how to write.

Many of Agmamine’s problems have existed for several years even after (possibly a result of) seasons of saturation from international and domestic development organizations. Overwhelmingly, the strategies of these organizations has been to start or encourage the development of cooperatives by donating fencing and gardening materials.

New solutions must be found to solve the old problems. Simply providing people with metal fencing obviously hasn’t worked – the same people need fencing again. What are the root causes of the problems?

I have part of an answer, but it would have been better for them to realize what I think I know with as little influence from me as possible. Then, hypothetically, they would own the idea and feel more strongly about it. One of the largest root causes to most of their problems is deforestation. A few generations ago, a large forest stood just to the north of the town, extending the 10 or more kilometers to Kankossa and beyond. They had adequate firewood, fencing materials, building stock, wood to make charcoal to use and sell, and various different species of trees that they used for many purposes. Most of the trees have been chopped down for charcoal production. Conservation of this huge part of their lives was overpowered by new people coming in, just trying to survive. Now, the forest doesn’t exist. Trees dot the sandy landscape, but they are continually trimmed to provide fencing for gardeners still trying to construct fences within their means. When new shoots sprout out of the trees, animals eat them down until the trees become stunted bushes.

The obvious result of the destruction of the forest has been 1) the loss of a cheap, renewable fencing material and 2)the loss of their firewood/charcoal source. More difficult to see, sand inundation, the reduced fertility of soil, and increased salinity of the water are also results of the deforestation.

I wanted to be able to explain this to the community. That they don’t have to spend money they don’t have on expensive metal fencing that needs replacement every five years. Or, more appropriate to the situation in Agmamine, that they don’t need to wait for international relief organizations to donate fencing to them. They could make hedges of thorny bushes around the perimeters of their gardening areas that never need to be replaced and, with a little maintenance, would cost little or no money. They could basically build a new forest with little money and hard work. There are many things we can do together. But this meeting, I found out, was not the right venue to discuss this.

For now, I talk about trees. Almost every conversation I have with someone in my village, we talk about trees at some point – when am I going to come plant a tree at their house, have they made a fence for their tree yet, what is this new tree, what was the forest like… Soon, I would like to make a Reforestation Plan with a few of the more open-minded members of the community, Chief Happy Face excluded. When school starts, I would also like to work with the teacher to start an Environmental Club with the kids. In general, they have been really excited about having a tree or two at their houses. We could at least plant some trees around the school and have each kid be in charge of taking care of one of them. I’m also working with Issa to start a Tree Nursery business. People don’t know much about planting trees (besides date palms), but I think they would buy and plant them if they didn’t have to worry about starting them from seed.

The meeting was terrible, but there are other ways of accomplishing what I think needs to be done.
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Back to the Village [Oct. 3rd, 2005|02:01 pm]
I had prepared myself for a dead garden and poor fields. It usually happens when I’m away for a long time. And I had heard there was a drought in the Assaba and Guidimaka. I was away for almost a month, having presented a few sessions at the Training Center in Kaedi and attending the Mid-Service conference in Nouakchott.

When I returned, the garden was in better shape than I expected. The Moringas I planted before I left are alive, for the most part. Most of the cactus cuttings have grown new shoots. The tree nurseries are thriving. A few of the vegetable plots were either neglected or destroyed by the rains, but overall, I was happy.

My fields were in bad shape. The rain has been sporatic, so that could have been a factor. The soil is also rather poor – I didn’t think the yield would be excellent anyway. I think animals are the biggest problem. The plain hasn’t flooded enough as to prevent animals from crossing into the fields. So they are free to graze on the new millet and bean shoots.

When I was checking my fields, I ran into one of my cousins, Mariam, who has fields near mine. She said animals were eating her fields too. About ten young calves were happily breakfasting a few yards away from us. I broke into a diatribe about how this isn’t our problem, it is the problem of the animal owners… their responsibility. They should be with their animals or lock them up… And a long stint about how Agmamine isn’t really a community, only a few families living in close proximity to each other… We talked about the well that needs to be fixed but hasn’t yet, etc…. Then I asked her what she was going to do about it. Eager to escape my sermon, she replied..”I’m going now.”

Magou had the same problem in her fields. She ended up abandoning them because they were too far away for her to go every day and it was not worth working in a field so far away when it was eaten down every night by grazing animals.

Magou said she talked to the owner of the animals. He said he would take care of it. When told he was going to have to pay for the destroyed crops, he didn’t seem to think he would have to. His animals are still roaming around eating crops.

Some of them are the chief’s animals. The chief’s animals eat my fields and live in my yard. I’m waken up in the night by the patter of their hooves breaking my mud/cement porch. I jokingly tell people that if an animal destroys something of mine, I’m hungry and I’ll eat that animal. I have a feeling if I followed through with it, the repercussions would be much more severe than if they ate my entire crop.

I asked the chief who was more important in the village, animals or people. He smirkingly replied, “Animals.” I asked who the chief was, he said he didn’t know. I said I heard the chief was a great man, but I haven’t seen him yet.

The chief’s position is hereditary, but Chief Happy Face isn’t in the family. On his deathbed, the former chief gave CHF the power because his son, my friend Sidi Mahmoud, wasn’t yet old enough to assume the responsibility. No one would tell me when and if Sidi Mahmoud will take his birthright. In response, people say, “It’s A’Beid now.”

CHF is notorious for being a bad chief. He does his best to take anything given to the village as his own. Volunteers before me had many problems with him. Most people in the village talk badly about him. They say he doesn’t work. They say if you give him something, you will find it in the market soon after. A recent incident… the main village well is unusable. Buckets and trash and branches have been thrown into it and the water has turned into a stagnant, mossy pool. Now, people drink out of the creek and try to get clean water out of the cooperative garden wells that they aren’t supposed to go into unless they are working (we had a problem of people going to the garden to get water and leaving the door open for animals to graze; the door is now locked, and people can only go in there to work). It is his responsibility to coordinate the effort to fix the well. He has been asked to by several members of the community, but he hasn’t found time in his busy schedule full of complete nothingness.

I say that there are many strong men in the community if this chief can’t handle the job. I’m answered with, in my opinion, if not a self-imposed, a self-sustained helplessness, manifested through a few hopeless chuckles.

So, I’ve called a meeting. Agmamine only meets when there is a big problem --- even then it is a rarity. People don’t talk about their problems in a way meant to find solutions. They talk about them like the weather… they are there and it is Allah that creates them and causes them to change. The meeting isn’t about the chief, but it is at the same time. If people can see that he isn’t helping them solve their problems, maybe they can realize that they are the ones that have the power to do so. An ambitious goal, I know. But, I suppose this is my job. I’ll stop short of it, but I wish I could condition Sidi Mahmoud to take his place as the chief – help him meet other confident, able chiefs, introduce him to the NGOs working in the area… But, I think the role of a Peace Corps Volunteer stops somewhere before instigating full-scale revolution.
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The Butt-Cheek Spreading Incident [Oct. 3rd, 2005|01:56 pm]
The kids are especially annoying this afternoon. After a few minutes of drinking their tea (casses of sand) and taking their pictures, I began to tire and told them to leave. Didn’t work. Said they aren’t going anywhere. Then they played that they were going to “Kankossa” (a couple of yards away to a wooden post). We said our farewells like grown-ups and they left, only to return a few seconds later to do it again. Got tired of it and ignored them again. Retired to my house. Told them to leave. In protest, Ahmed Talib spread his butt-cheeks at me. Don’t know how to take that. The other kids did the same, taking their turn at my door to spread their butt-cheeks at me. Lahmadou (age 8-10) fixed it by beating them around a little bit – they left. The Mauritanian way – it works.
I’m not mad about the “butt-cheek spreading incident”, just confused. It’s a feeling I get many times in this country. Just complete confusion with no other emotion attached to it. I forget what I was going to say and my face twinges. A big “WHY”, all in upper-case letters takes over my brain. Not a “why” like a scornfull “Why are you doing this you naughty child?” Not a pitifull “Why did this happen to me?” It’s closer to a “how”. It’s in between “why” and “how”. It’s like this, “Why/how could this event happen in a rational world?” “Why/how am I sitting in a Wal-Mart camping chair in a mud house in West Africa, reading “The World According to Garp” with a little African boy who says I’m his father passing by my door and spreading his butt-cheeks to fake-fart on me because I told him to leave? How does any of that really make sense? It’s confusion bordering on laughter. I don’t know of a better way to explain it.
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Caleb Jew-dee [Jul. 1st, 2005|09:40 am]
What is in a name? Someone famous said something like that once, right? If you can’t identify the famous dead guy that did say it, that means that I said it… I made it up. That’s how it works. Or maybe someone famous said something like it, but not exactly. In which case, I’m retarded.

Really, why do we name children what we name them? What is the point in naming them after someone we once loved? Or our favorite rock group? Or a bastardized African name that we didn’t really know the meaning of before we bastardized it? Will the named become like what we named them after? Do our names define us, or do we define our names?

These are the questions that I probably won’t answer in this unjustifiably long and uninformed essay. But, I can at least talk about why I’m thinking about all of this.

I discovered my Hebrew roots when I was a young child. Sitting in big people church, attentively listening to the preacher talk about how he resisted the temptation of watching the free previews of certain adult entertainment programs that accidentally showed up on his satellite, I took notes by circling my name in my grandma’s big black Bible. “Caleb was a brave warrior,” my mother and grandmother told me. “He fought for Moses and helped clear all of the heathens out of the Promised Land.” The name really worked for me. Especially when playing “Masters of the Universe” and “Superman” (I needed the tough name to compensate for the shit-brown cape my mom made me instead of the cool-red… it was not the same)

Later, I looked my name up in the dictionary and discovered that it was Hebrew for “dog.” “But honey, dogs are brave too.” I was dumb and liked dogs enough to accept it. Luckily, dictionaries really hadn’t reached the middle of the country when I was in school.

Move forward a few years to Summer 2004. Peace Corps in the Islamic Republic of Nowhere (Mauritania). Sitting under a thorn tree in the heat, agonizing through a language lesson. Our language teacher begins writing this on the blackboard:

ANIMALS IN MAURITANIA
Sing. Plur.
cow – bagra (libgar)
goat – l’annz (l’kal’m)
donkey – hmaar (lihmaar)
dog – kelb (keleb)

Me -- “Excuse me, Sy Samba, how do you pronounce the plural for dog?”
Sy Samba, our teacher – “It is keleb… like your name. It is Arabic.”

Great, it follows me to Africa. I never use my real name here for this reason. It is funny enough to have a weird white guy living in a village. It would be too much if his name was Dogs.

Now. The hot season is enough to make anyone cranky. You sweat and dream of ice cubes. I’m cranky. The heat and the identity crisis that I’ve already talked about in a previous entry. Now this. Annika was talking to a Mauritanian friend that is from Rosso (extreme southwest of the country) but is now living in Kankossa. He was asking about me, but he forgot my name. Annika said that my real name is Caleb, but that I prefer to use Alioune in Mauritania. The friend said he understood why. You know the look that a guy gets on his face when he sees a guy get knocked in the balls? That’s the look he had on his face when she told him my name.

Annika – “Yea, I know… it means “dogs” in Arabic”
The guy (insert suggestive wink) – “That’s not all it means”
Annika (in the cutely embarrassed Annika way) – “What else does it mean?”
The guy (glad she asked) – “It also means an STD.”

Annika (face red by now) – “Oh my goodness! (probably – “ooh lah lah!” – this was in French, after all)
The guy (thoroughly creepified by now) – “It’s also used to describe a loose woman” (that makes sense… conventional wisdom is that skanky women spread STD’s… it’s not the man’s fault)

Haha Annika… funny funny… I’m a woman, Chinese, John F. Kennedy, a dog, and an STD… You’re so funny and cool and clever to throw another one on me in my delicate state.

She wasn’t joking. She asked another friend to clarify before telling me. He said the same thing. He was from around the same town as the other guy. Caleb – STD, loose woman.

We checked it with a volunteer living in that area. She called her boyfriend, and thanks be to God, he debunked all of those previous myths. He said “Caleb” sounded like a word in Hassaniya used to describe a certain STD found in dogs. Kind of like the crabs.

I decided to conduct my own research.

Inconspicuously and honorably (no suggestion of whoring around here!) wedged between Caine and Chadlai in the Hebrew Names for Boys section of babynology.com, Caleb is defined as: Faithful; Bold; Dog; Companion of Moses in the wilderness.

Next stop, behindthename.com.

Caleb (kā-lub): means "dog" in Hebrew. In the Old Testament this was the name of one of the twelve spies sent by Moses into Israel. Of the Israelites who left Egypt with Moses, Caleb and Joshua were the only ones who lived to see the Promised Land.

Childhood myths restored.

Why not look up “Judy”?
Judy (jew-dee) -- Short form of JUDITH. A well-known bearer of this name was singer and actress Judy Garland.

Credibility of behindthename.com destroyed.

So, what is in a name? What does it all mean? When will I stop using questions as a clever literary technique to grab the audience’s attention?

I discovered that I am very Jewish without being Jewish at all. People have called me other Hebrew names by accident in the past… Jacob a few times by completely different people in different situations. How can that be a coincidence? A friend in college once described me as a Russian Jew. What? What else can these incidences be besides my names superimposing some sort of meaning over how others view me? The names at least superficially form how others see me.

Do my names shape my own behavior? When I was three, I went to the end of the driveway to throw crabapples over the road. On the walk back, I dug a hole in the gravel, pulled down my trousers, and dropped a bomb. Of course, I covered it up when I was finished. Was this just the whim of a crazy three-year-old or did I do it because I thought I was a dog?

BECAUSE MY PARENTS NAMED ME DOG AND THEY KNEW THAT THE NAME WOULD WORK ON SOME SUBCONSCIOUS LEVEL TO TURN ME INTO A DOG AND DOGS GET AROUND A LOT SO I WOULD PROBABLY GET CRABS TOO!!!! AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE JUDY GARLAND!
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Uhhwhaah? [May. 29th, 2005|07:29 pm]
“Aane raajel miteen, aane maani mra…” a Mauritanian friend sings in that melody that can turn any phrase into a song. “Aane raajel miteen, aane maani mra…” The tune I’m sure my niece hums when she’s playing with her invisible friends. That song for creative children or tone-deaf adults who still think they can carry a tune. And they can carry a tune. One that makes everyone around them cringe in pity and envy for their complete disregard for the rules of music and/or lack of talent. Tone-deafers that still like to sing must have a self-confidence made of steel. Or they’re retarded.

I digress. So, this was the tune that my friend was singing. Let me translate the words. “I’m a strong man, I’m not a woman.” “I’m a strong man, I’m not a woman.” This makes sense for a man (I think) in my position.

It started in Kankossa. I went to the garage to find the samsaar (“ticket seller” – the relapses into Hassaniya, the local language I speak, might be irritating; however I will continue doing it… 1) you might learn something that will make it easier for me to communicate with you and 2) I feel cool doing it). I find him and begin the greeting process. “How are you?” “Fine, praise God.” “How is your health?” “Fine, all due to God.” I extend my hand, and he takes it. The guy next to him yells at him in that exaggerated Mauritanian tone of voice that could denote hate or love or indifference, “Hey!!! What are you doing? You’re not supposed to touch a woman! What’s wrong with you?!” Uhhwhaah? (that’s not Hassaniya, it’s called onomatopoeia, although I’ll grant you they look the same to me) The picture of confusion stole across my face as I tried to process. I don’t think I’m a woman. I think I’m a man. My response to the obviously offended gentleman (as any gentleman would be… imagine if I was a woman… actually touching a man in public? Whoa… you usually only see those indecencies in the French Quarter on Februaries) was… “I’m not a woman. I’m a strong man.” I even tried to drive the point home with a bicep-flex. It worked. He was duly embarrassed.

Not an isolated incident. Walking down the road in Kiffa. I hear a question in the background – “Is that a woman, or a man?” I turn around to a huddle of mulafas (women’s clothing, wrap dress-thing) on a donkey cart snickering about the androgyny bumbling along the road. Through the market – “Shuuv… nisrani… uh… nisrani-a… uh, iyaak raajel walla mra?” (Look… a man white person… uh… I mean a woman white person… uh, is that a man or a woman).

The clincher. Sitting at the garage in Kankossa, waiting for the truck to leave. They tell you to get to the garage at 4pm, but they usually don’t leave until 6pm. People that look important start moving towards the truck, so you think it’s time to go… but no, false start.. someone else is trying to haggle the samsaar out of something or they are having difficulty organizing the seating arrangements to reduce the amount of inter-sex touching. So, you don’t leave until 6. Anyway, lying under the tent waiting, and I notice a little girl staring at me. I stare back. She asks her mother, “Is that a man or a woman.” Normal voice, not the whisper that one would feel obligated to do in the States. It is that way here because 1) they assume that I don’t know their language and 2) tact does not exist. I get angrier than I should have at a five-year-old kid and not so nicely say, “You can ask me! Ask me!” She didn’t. But, whatever I am, I scared her.

I told my friend about all of this, and he taught me the song that little boys sing when their masculinity is in question. I asked why people think I’m a woman. I got the stock response that I get whenever I ask the answer to anything that makes me go “Uhhwhaah?” Like, why do people take a shit next to where they cook their food? A face accompanies the word, uhhwhaah. It’s a look of complete confusion – a disbelief that anything like, whatever it is, could happen. Ridiculous, crazy, why are you so stupid? no, no, uhhwhaah? His answer was, “people in Mauritania, they don’t know anything.”

So, why? Don’t know. I’ve got pudgy, rosy cheeks. Well-defined, rock-hard pectorals that could be mistaken for something softer. Sometimes, I wear a bandana, in effect, covering my head like any conservative girl would. But, I know I’m stretching it out. Maybe my friend is right. They just don’t know anything, and when confronted with something as indescribable as me, they don’t know.

People have also asked if I was Chinese. The bank teller in Kiffa, somewhat accusingly, told me that I looked Chinese because I was short. The biggest exposure people in Kiffa have to the Chinese is a 6 foot plus doctor who wears short shorts, speaks terrible French and sweats like he’s in the wrong part of town. A couple of weeks ago, someone commented that I looked like President Kennedy. Okay, I’ll grant that. I do look like President Kennedy. Or maybe, if President Kennedy was Chinese and a woman - that's me.
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I work.... really, I do [May. 28th, 2005|09:24 am]
Sometimes I tell people that I don't really do that much work. They (as in people that aren't volunteers in Mauritania) tell me -- "just being there is work" and "I can't believe you do it" and "I love you" and "I've never met anyone as intellectually stimulating as you.... so cute too!" So, it makes me feel a little better to hear it, and it is all kind of true. BUT, here's a list of all the books I've read since last July. I do "work", and maybe even reading all of these books is work too, right? Maybe I'll finally earn that English degree.

1-Merrick -- Anne Rice
2-Shoeless Joe -- W.P. Kinsella
3-The Little Prince -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
4-The Notebook -- Nicholas Sparks
5-For Love of Rory -- Barbara Leigh
6-The Seven Dials Mystery -- Agatha Christie
7-The Secret Life of Bees -- Sue Monk Kidd
8-The Exorcist -- William Peter Blatty
***9-The Great Gatsby -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
10-The Poisonwood Bible -- Barbara Kingsolver
11-A Clockwork Orange -- Anthony Burgess
12-Life of Pi -- Yann Martel
13-Geek Love -- Katherine Dunn
***14-The Sun Also Rises -- Ernest Hemingway
15-Atlas Shrugged -- Ayn Rand
***16-We Wish to Inform you that Tomorrow we will be Killed with our Families: Stories from Rwanda -- Philip Gourevitch
***17-Catch 22 -- Joseph Heller
18-From Beirut to Jerusalem -- Thomas Freidman
19-The Possessed -- Fydor Dostoeyevski
***20-The Bonfire of the Vanities -- Tom Wolfe
21-House of Sand and Fog -- Andre Dubis III
22-All the President's Men -- Woodward and Bernstein
***23-Love in the Time of Cholera -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
24-Me Talk Pretty One Day -- David Sedaris
***25-One Hundred Years of Solitude -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
26-Things Fall Apart -- Chinua Achebe
27-Middlesex -- Jeffery Eugenides
***28-A People's History of the USA -- Howard Zinn
29-South of the Border, West of the Sun -- Haruki Murakami
30-Resucitation of a Hanged Man -- Denis Johnson
***31-Norwegian Wood -- Haruki Murakami
32-The Unbearable Lightness of Being -- Milan Kundera
33-Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas -- Hunter S. Thompson
34-King Leopold's Ghost -- Adam Hochschild
35-High Fidelity -- Nick Hornby
***36-A Confederacy of Dunces -- Peter Kennedy Toole
37-The Virgin Suicides -- Jeffery Eugenides
38-Slaughterhouse Five -- Kurt Vonnegut

If you have a chance to read the astericized ones, take it. I've enjoyed most of the books, but those few are essential, I think.
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Massacre du keleb [May. 28th, 2005|09:16 am]
I used to have three dogs in my village. They belonged to my family and the other families that live in our compound. I claimed ownership when I finally broke them of their fear of man. Looking back, part of me thinks it was a cruel thing… to show them that humans can be nice—to let them peek into a world that will only exist when I’m around. My family feeds them and generally wants them around for protection against the “bandits” or “cowboys” (catch-alls for criminals and ne’er-do-rights). But, they don’t know about belly scratches. They wouldn’t want to find the spot behind the ears that will make you a dog’s best friend.

I started with Sam, a pup about my age in dog years with an auburn coat speckled with mud from all of the “work” that he does in the field (read, jumping through puddles trying to catch fish). He never growled at me, just slinked away when I approached him. It started with a pat on the nose. Then back scratch. Then the ears. Bam… best friend in the village. Now, he finds me talking on the mat with my family every dusk. Walks straight up to my face, I flip him over, scratch his back. That’s all he wants. Refreshing.

Willy was next. Older relative, lighter color, sickly. He had a problem with his eyes caking over with crud, and he didn’t walk… it was more of a saunter, as if he was hit by a car and it didn’t heal right. Last, Bebe. She was an attractive dog. Now, I get pretty lonely in my village, but I think she would still be attractive in other circumstances. Don’t get worried. That’s the only word I can think of to describe her. And she would just go crazy when you pet her, nipping at you and running through your legs for more. She had one puppy before I left for the States.

The puppy died from the heat. With the temperature over 115F on most days and water not easily accessible for a dog, it happens. So it goes.

Two men from the Gendarmerie (the army or national guard) came to Agmamine and told the people that the dogs were bad for people’s health. They began shooting all of the dogs they could find. According to Magou, indiscriminately. Yes, there were many dogs in Agmamine, and rabies could be a problem. But, you don’t have to be a genius to see if a dog has rabies. There wasn’t a problem. The dogs fought, but they weren’t wild packs roaming the countryside. They all slept in their families compounds at night, protecting them from bandit cowboys. Apparently, their families couldn’t protect them from the stupid cows with guns that came to pacify the village.

Magou said she saw the three dogs out near the wells. Willy and Bebe were killed, and Sam ran to my family’s compound. Magou threw her mulafa (clothing) over Sam, telling them he was her dog.

I was in America eating Cheetoes, working hard at my “Movies I Have Missed” marathon when all of this happened. I would have been fired for assaulting a government official with a deadly shovel. I can’t imagine another ending. It would have been bad.
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Well-women are crazy [Feb. 24th, 2005|01:27 am]
It is difficult to describe the daily frustration of watering my garden. It is roughly 15 meters x 40 meters and with the sandy soil, constant wind, and intense sun, it must be watered every day. Much of the time, I enjoy the work. When few women are in the garden, watering is relaxing--and I enjoy the exercise. When all of the women are working at the same time, the situation is beyond irritating. The scramble for water at the one well in the garden by sixty loud African women represents every part of this culture that I despise. The disregard for anyone else. The cutting in line at the bank or anywhere else where a line would be a good idea. The pushing to jump on the back of a truck. The insults instigated only by power or class-based relationships. Women ring the well until they must throw their bucket over someone else's shoulder to get it to the water. The shallow well is exhausted after only a few minutes of aggressive water-gathering, but the women still throw their buckets down to try and scrape every drop out of the bottom. They toss their buckets without thinking of anyone around them. That means that polite, unassuming water-gatherers (such as myself) regularly get whipped in the face with ropes and water. The bottom of the well is littered with buckets broken and forgotten from years of bucket throwing. I do my best to choke back my anger when I have to gather water with the horde. An outburst wouldn't do much good for my reputation in the village. I've been quasi-successful in that I only let slip out the occasional "Okay, okay, that's enough" or "Slowly, look, like this." Many times, I leave when it gets particularly crazy. Once, when I came back later, everyone was standing around the well nervously laughing at one woman who was speaking pretty loudly. And no one was drawing water. The lady went a little crazy and started waving a rake at anyone who tried to get water. She made everyone wait until the well had time to fill itself up again. She swinged the rake close to me a few times--I saw the crazy look in her eyes. Better she did it than me. Now, when it gets crazy, I ask someone if they know where the rake is. They know what I mean, but don't really care. Not until I actually start swinging it. And they know I won't. So, I'll just keep on waiting.
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The West African Invitational Softball Tournament [Feb. 24th, 2005|01:12 am]
No amount of writing with do justice to the West African Invitational Softball Tournament (W.A.I.S.T.) Right now, it is my most favorite acronym of all time. Of all time! Softball, music, the ocean, dancing, beer, hot-dogs... and the girls didn't even have to cover their heads! The tournament is held every year in Dakar, Senegal. Organized by American ex-pats in Dakar (mostly embassy staff, marines), Peace Corps Volunteers from West African countries are invited to participate in a weekend of softball, good food, good drinks, and good times. Local teams from Dakar also able to play. Peace Corps Mauritania, by far, has the best showing at the event every year. Out of our 85 volunteers, over 70 showed up for the tourney. WAIST is the event of the year for volunteers in Mauritania. We live in a relatively conservative, dry country with very few opportunities for debauchery and mayhem. We entered two teams--Pirates #1 (the good team) and Pirates #2(the not as good team that I was a part of but has the potential to take the place of Pirates #1 after a little practice). Pirates #1 took home the trophy in the Social Division, and Pirates #2 lost every game (I have never had so much fun losing). We were beat by a team of twelve-year-old church girls with a ten-year-old pitcher called Little-T. We have a little work to do, but we'll take the trophy home next year.
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The House of Sand and Cow Dung [Feb. 10th, 2005|12:42 pm]
I wouldn't say my new house is completely made of cow shit, but it definately has a nice slathering of it. And it does smell a little bit. When they were mixing the banco (fresh, green cow manure, clay, sand, and water), I told them that I didn't want a "daar iz-zbiil" (house of manure). Completely impervious to sarcasm, they asked if I wanted cement or rocks or what? "Manure", as one of my friends told me,"is Mauritanian cement." True. See a mud house, it is made with manure. I remember seeing kids making steaming-fresh manure pies in my training village and wondering what in the world they were doing. After every rain, most people have to repair their houses. And they do it with dung. Clay is hard to come by sometimes. Sand doesn't work. So you have manure. Mauritanian cement. (I hope at least someone recognizes the title's play on the book by Andre Dubris III "House of Sand and Fog"--a selection from Oprah's book club that I read out of necessity. The book stunk. Kind of like cow shit. Get it?)
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I am not David [Dec. 27th, 2004|11:07 pm]
I'm working in my garden, and Magou sends someone to bring me back to the house. I greet and sit down with the women, the leadership of the chicken coop, I mean women's co-op--Magou, Toutou mint blah, Toutou mint blah blah, Aminetou, Maqayla, and a few other women I don't know. Here is a transcript of the impromptu meeting:
The Prez: When do you want to work in our garden?
Me: Whenever... I don't have a problem.
Prez: This evening or tomorrow?
Me: No problem either way.
Prez: What were you doing?
Me: Working in my garden.
Prez: Why aren't you working in our garden? We built you a douche. You don't work in our garden. Magou says that you said "Where are the women? Why aren't they working?"
Me: I wanted to make my own garden. I am here to work. I want to work in your garden and the men's garden too.
Magou: He said he wanted to make his own garden. He said he is here to work. He said he wants to work in our garden and the men's garden.
Prez: David (the volunteer in my village before me--he was here from 92-94) didn't say "Where are the women?" --when he wanted to work, he found us and said "Let's go work!"
Me: I'm not David.

Random woman: Tell her you're not David.
Me: I'm not David.
Prez: Where are the cabbage seeds?
Me: I don't have any. I'm sure you can find them in the market.
Prez: What's wrong with you? You don't like Black Moor women. Do you have a woman?
Me: (lying) Yes, I have a woman back in America.
Aminetou: You should have a woman here too.
Prez: What's wrong with you? Don't you like black women? Do you like Momweese?
Me: Yes, I like her... she's my sister.
Prez: And that means your mother is Magou and your father is Hadda?
Me: So, this evening or tomorrow for the garden?
Prez: What about Zeinabou?
Me: I can't.
Prez: Why not?
Me: Three reasons.. 1) I don't have alot of money..
Prez: Yes you do.
Me: I do?
Zeinabou: Yes! It's in that traveling case you carry with you when you go to the city.
Me: Wow! That's great... I didn't know that.
Aminetou: What about Zeinabou, do you like her?
Me: I can't start a family here.. my woman in America wouldn't like it, and I'm only going to be here for two years. ... I also wanted to talk about the trees in the fence with the wind. What's this dirt called? Oh yea, sand. The wind with sand is not good. The ground in your garden is good on top of, err, I mean underneath this..
Prez: He doesn't know Hassaniya.
Me: Thank you very much.
Prez: David-
Me: I'm not David.
Aminetou: What about Aishetou?
Me: I don't understand... I don't know Hassaniya.

end of meeting

Many of my interactions with the women in the co-op have some elements of this meeting in them. It makes it fun sometimes, but mostly overbearing and difficult to get anything done.
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scourge of kankossa, part two [Nov. 22nd, 2004|12:54 pm]
I started walking towards them and they scattered in fear. I turned to walk away and they started again. I ignored them for a few minutes and stopped. Calmly, I said, "Wahaay, wahaay, aane saahib-tak" (come here, come here, I'm your friend) Again, they scattered. They gave up after awhile. They followed us for 15 minutes. I was really shocked at their intensity. I think it was a combination of us taunting them early on and the fact that there were three of us wearing expensive backpacks trudging through a relatively bad neighborhood. We were never in any danger--it was just annoying and frustrating. It was the most harrasment I've gotten here. I felt a mixture of emotions. 1)confusion as to why we were being harrased with such tenacity 2)pity that they are the way they are and 3) the intense desire to bash the picktailed girl in the face with my walking stick. I didn't carry through with number 3.
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The Scourge of Kankossa--part one [Nov. 11th, 2004|11:48 am]
On our way to Agmamine, we (Luke, Andrew and I) were chased by a group of children screaming -"Comment tu t'appelle!" "Cadeau!" "Donnez-moi cadeau!" I regularly get harrassed by children in this way when I come in or go out of Kankossa. And it is usually in the poorer little burb of Limghetta. But this time was different. It started like normal, a few kids asking us for gifts, with us completely ignoring them. This is the tactic we are told to take--in this culture, kids shouldn't initiate conversation with adults... to do so is impolite. So, they know they aren't allowed to yell greetings or demands from us. To even acknowledge them would make them think that it's okay for them to be disrespectful. So we ignore them. Or, try to as best as we can -- it's pretty hard not to yell right back. They want attention, so I try not to give it to them.
So, a few were harrassing us like usual.. no big deal. Then we walk by a group of about fifteen of them and it was crazy. I think they were just left out of elementary school. They started in a little bit, and Luke pointed away and told them that the gifts were over there. Then it started. The kids when crazy and turned into a little mob yelling at us -- the same entreaties (what's your name? give me a gift? christian, christian, christian!) but with a hate-filled intensity. The adults around didn't do to much to prevent what was happening. At one point, I stopped, turned around, and just stared at them with a blank look on my face. I can still see the face of this White Moor girl with a pony-tail--probably about 8 or 10--she had such a hateful look on her face. A few of them picked up some things and threw them on the ground at their own feet in semblance of throwing them at me. One threw the broken sole of a flip-flop. Come on kids, if you're going to hate us, make it worth your while.
times running out... part two coming soon.
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I like meat [Oct. 13th, 2004|12:02 pm]
Today was the first day I looked at an animal and honestly thought -- "Man, I wish I could eat you." A succulent, tender little calf nosed his way under the hangar while I was reading. I didn't actually see a hamburger, but I smelled it and tasted it. Can someone send me a quarter pounder with cheese and ketchup in the mail? I don't like mayo or mustard, so don't even try to send me one with that crap on it.
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Raw sheep bones make good drumsticks and suckers [Oct. 9th, 2004|11:45 am]
Two kids -- one is Tumani, the other is a little kid whose name I don't know. Tumani is five years old, but she looks like she's three. Her mother said when she was three, she had a fever and now she is the way she is. She's very curious, has a vacant look in her eyes, can't form words but makes noises, and is, in general, hard to deal with. The fever could have been anything from malaria to the wrong dose of the wrong vaccination. The other kid is a cute little boy probably 18 months or 2 years old. They're playing with sheep legs. Cut at about mid-shin, hooves still attached. They're banging them on everything and sticking them in their mouths. I could still see the white and spotted black coat of hair. The bone is blood stained. They have not been cooked. I don't know when the sheep was butchered.
It was one of those times when I needed someone there to help me react to it. I needed an outlet to say, "What the hell are these people thinking?". I imagined myself talking to the childrens' parents--they, grief-stricken because their children are violently ill from any number of things they could have caught from that experience. I would say, "Well, first let me qualify my diagnosis by saying that I'm not a doctor. I have no medical training other than that which any normal human being would glean from having a body hisself. But, in my opinion, your children are sick because you let them chew on freaking dirty, raw sheep bones. Again, that's just a guess." I wanted to cry and throw up--i didn't do either.
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I have toads [Oct. 8th, 2004|11:11 am]
The most I've counted is eighteen. All huddled up under the drip of my water filter. I first saw them a few weeks ago. Only a few had been around. When I saw them, I would scoop them up with a bucket and a flip-flop and toss them as high and hard as I could out the door. Unfazed, they would eventually find their way in again. When I returned from Kiffa, there were probably about seven of them under my luggage. It took me an afternoon to remove them and see them miraculously reappear. I live in a mud brick house with a dirt floor. It would be impossible for me to seal up everything and guarrantee them not being able to hop in again. I couldn't kill them. I've developed a slight aversion to killing things, and I know toads play some important part in the ecosystem--if only their bug eating. So I decide to give up my chase and welcome my new roomates. Well, they haven't been too bad yet, other than they've invited ten more of their friends. And it feels more humid in my room with them in there. My new house should be built soon, and it will have a cement floor. Hopefully toads can't burrow through cement.
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