Lately I find myself plagued with anxiety almost daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Money isn't really the cause I don't think, as I've been far poorer and broker than I am now without such results. But random times, usually later in the night when I am contemplating sleep for the work week, the anxiety strikes without warning.

Some days I think it's my job but I can't put my finger on the steady cause. My bosses are pretty nice, my coworkers are pleasant, and it's a safe place to be every day. Recently I thought perhaps it's the environment of the area (Severna Park). The region is full of plastic yuppies and people who fixate on image and status. However, we have plenty of patients who do not fit such a bill so I'm not entirely certain that's the case? To be fair though, the majority of people I work with a pretty image focused, so it could be -that- that rubs off on me?

I just feel very low for no good reason. Too poor, too heavy, not pretty enough, so on... But the thing of it is? I like myself these days. I love my quirky personality. I know I'm not hideous. I'm fun to be around and I love every moment of life with the people at home and my close friends. I'm SO excited for Otakon (yep me, Dea, Nick and Erin are aiming to go), because I miss just getting into crowds of people and being myself.

This job is so good for me in so many ways, but I just feel so unhappy during the week that I don't know what to do with myself. And what if it's not that at all? Ugh.

I miss college so badly some days. I want to be back in school pursuing a degree I want so much...

So I can use the internet at work on my lunch break, so long as I use my own computer. Hooray laptop! I will be commencing with catching up on my neglected replies to that meme henceforth. :D

Leave a comment and I will:

A) tell you why I friended you,
B) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, etc.,
C) tell you something I like about you,
D) tell you a memory I have of you,
E) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
F) tell you my favorite user pic of yours,
G) in return, you must post this in your LJ.

*If I barely know you or something, please don't be offended if my answers suck :[

Well, I've had my elf Shushu doll for quite a while. There have been pictures here on my journal before, she's the adorable doll with the blue and green pigtail hair. Well, for my birthday/Christmas combined present, Dea went ahead and got me a face-up by my favorite girls face-up artist, Tasha Neko/Illness Illusion! I've included her link to me until I can get her together and put up pictures. <3 Hope you all enjoy.

http://www.illness-illusion.com/main/superdollfie/photo/new/commissions3/duckieshushu/1.htm

Haha. That's what my job is. I work for an ophthalmologist who specializes in the cornea. I manage the front office and schedule surgeries. For those who may recall, this is the job I was so stoked about in February. Well, now I've been there for two months or so. I've gotta say, it's definitely a good job.

As far as if it's what I'd want to do with my life, well... no. But it's got a very competitive salary, one that's just great for the experience and education I have, and it doesn't make me miserable. I enjoy the people I work with, my bosses are some of the most positive people I've ever worked for, and though it's VERY frustrating some days (as if all jobs don't have that?) I can always come home and shrug it off. I just wish my commute wasn't over 45 minutes on average. That's the one big down side.

But, here's an example of my boss' kindness. (To note, I have two bosses. One is the doctor who's practice it actually is and the other is the practice manager, my direct boss). This past Monday I was in a car accident on the way to work. No worries, I'm fine of course. I just had a nasty case of whiplash that left me in pain and doped up after the ER prescribed various medicines. Let's just say that last week was taxing and I hope things are more normal this week.

When I called in to work to tell them I could come in, the Doctor firmly insisted I went home and insisted I take a day off if need be (and let me tell you, Day Two? I needed it!). Then, on Thursday, knowing that I'd been so tired and subdued, as well as having slept through all my time not at work, they let me leave early and didn't penalize any hours of my sick time or salary pay. THEN, my direct boss had left me this incredibly sweet card about how much she appreciated how hard I work, how I put some much forward and she's always so impressed...

I'm not kidding. These people are delightful to work for. Even when you make a mistake, they encourage you to keep trying and are always supportive. I like that I can go into work and not be in a foul mood daily like some of my old jobs. Nothing will ever be Assateague, but working for Dr. Rutzen is great in its own way. Besides, how many doctor's offices have you seen with up to date COOL magazines, a waterfall on one wall for atmosphere, and music you know and like playing softly in the background?

So, as far as work goes, I'm content for now and consider myself lucky to be doing what I am in today's economic hard times.

I've spent almost an hour trying to figure out how to get a simple file to play properly. All this nonsense with codecs and device drivers is both obnoxious and induces a feeling of being incompetent.

I guess that's what I get for trying to do it myself.

Well... no. Many small updates of varying littler proportions. Since I moved two months ago, I've been really busy. And, frankly, the thought of sitting down to just type some huge update is more than a little daunting. After some consideration, I've decided it'll just be easier to do several small updates. One about the move, one about the job, one about various other nonsense...

One thing I WILL use this update for though is to mention that I bought a car! (Finally). Free and clear too. I had some trouble with the dealership after the buy (read: they tried to cop out on their end of the warranty), but in the end I love the car so it's worth it. I've got a real nice late nineties Mazda Miata MX-5 convertible. and let me tell you, this little roadster is a beast. I seriously adore it.

Well, that's it for this brief update, more to come as soon as I summon the motivation. For now we're over Nick and Chris' buddy's house. I'm just relaxing on the couch while the boys get down to playing Call of Duty 4. <3

So, needless to say as I haven't been around online much anyways, I won't be until probably a good few days after the move. (Who knows when Comcast will deign to come out and give us internet.) It's probably for the best though, because I still feel like I have SO much to do.

- Pack the kitchen/bits and pieces of the dining room.
- Finish packing Chris' and my's room
- A billion other dumb things I can't think of right now.

BUT! I've gotten a lot done already.

- Packed the bathroom
- Packed the living room
- Reserved the moving van (14ft. I opted to pay the extra $3.00 and bump the size after having a nightmare that not everything would fit X____o)
- Paid the security dep. and got mo. 1's rent.
- Settled up on old house bills for Hazel
- Got all but one basket of laundry done (mostly Chris did it, because he's great)

Preparing to move is as tiring if not moreso than move in day itself. :[ It's not that I'm not excited for the new place/job or being closer to my mom and dad. I'm just so overwhelmed with this transitional period. I do get to reward myself though. I'm buying my new(used) car on Saturday! (After we unload in the early afternoon in the new place). I already set up my appointment with the dealership. Hopefully all goes according to plan.

So in the wide world of LULZcustomers, I have a new name to throw out to you all. We provide service to a Mr. Wellington Hung. That's right. Well Hung. The name is 100% real.

I lol'd.

So Todd and Kelsey made me a birthday cake! <3 I was so touched!







But.... THE CAKE IS A LIE.







No seriously, I love my friends. They even went and modeled it after Portals. ;^;!!!

Meme, stolen from rorek :D

( 60 Random Questions to Give Insight... into... something... )

So.

















I GOT THE JOB!!!! <33333333333333

I'll be getting my offer tonight or tomorrow for salary, but it looks like it'll be substantial enough for me to live VERY well off of. I'm so happy. The place, the people, everything about it is wonderful. All that stressing was undue, worth it, and done. Hooray!

So, though I only interviewed yesterday... I GOT A CALL BACK TODAY. The next part of the process is to come in for what they call a 'working interview.' Essentially, they spend more time with me and I more time with them just to be sure that they definitely like me, I like the job, so on and so forth. And they want to do it this coming Monday. o_o The Doctor who runs the place was actually the one who called me (he did my interview mainly as well), and had only the nicest things to say!

He told me they really loved meeting me and how nice and smart and funny I was (talk about an ego boost!). He furthermore said that I was their leading candidate! Now they have some more interviews Monday he elaborated on. However, when I asked about the hiring time line, he told me that if it all worked out and we both were happy with Monday's results that I could expect an offer that day or the following at the latest.

I am confident I'll get this job. And I don't just want it for the pay. I want it for everything else! Every single person I met was just stellar. They are a state of the art eye care place. I mean the facility blew me away and I've been to many specialists for my terrible eyes. One thing that wow'd me most was their macular degeneration equipment and the following conversation about it.

Me: It's great knowing you guys are cutting edge with macular degeneration. My father is going blind from it and knowing about places that could help him is... well great. Now... I know that normally benefits extend only to my spouse and dependents but---
Dr: We would take care of your father for you if he came here.

To offer something like that floored me. This is a Doctor who really CARES about his patients. I'll detail more about the place in a future post if I get the job and all (they have complimentary bottled water and a cool water wall thing to 'soothe patients' for starters...)

Oh man, I reaaaalllllly hope Monday is everything I think it will be.

Below is a meme, where YOU my lovely readers reply instead. Ganked from like 1,000 people.

( Tell me. ABOUT YOU. )

So I got a call back from the top job I was gunning to get on the western shore. Office management for an up and coming optometry group. Well, I passed the phone interview with flying colors, and they wanted to interview me tomorrow. I do have my current job though, so we set up for early Thursday morning. ...I'm so excited! The pay is pretty much incredible (like seriously amazing), the people seem really great, its family owned, and the work is meaningful!

I'm so excited that this is a job that real, desirable, and seems within my grasp. I could continue on going to work happy as I did at the Coastal Bays. Wish me luck!

So I stayed up until 5AM playing Team Fortress 2 on the XPS laptop. Um... it was pretty much amazing. Almost all maxed out settings and still an FPS of like 75 average (sometimes it actually went up around 90-110 and would stay there too!)

So, if any of you play TF2, let me know and we'll get hooked up on Steam and have a grand old time!

P.S. OMGNEWXPSLAPTOP<333

So my old Dell, for years really, has run hot. Sometimes it would actually burn me. I put up with it until finally it was screwing up running Team Fortress 2 and like getting all messed up. The computer would make horrible noises and just ugh. So I called them to have it fixed. But instead, when they found out it was burning me, they said they'd send a new one.

Only when I opened the box, I saw a manual for an XPS. ...Dell sent me a state of the art XPS instead of my old ghetto computer. Now I'm pretty sure it's like a bribe/peace offering for the burning thing but really? I AM NOT COMPLAINING. This thing runs amazing, is tricked out, and is SO beautiful.

<3333

When celebrities of your peer group possibly ODs, as opposed to like old people that were famous when you were twelve dying in the 90s or whatever. I know that might seem odd... when you grow up with someone's career it just feels very bizarre to me.

Heath Ledger, dead at 28 years of age. What a shame.

Not only does my stomach feel better, but I got my schedule all worked out for the rest of the week. 12-8pm, until Sat where it's 8am-4pm, then off for two days. Finally, I can start getting some packing done! \o/ After that, it's strictly 12-8pm, save for weekends. As the cold season is finally setting in they want an 'all hands on deck' kinda thing.

I like routine and consistency.

Finally got take some medication for my hip last night, after all the wear and tear done to it during the Vermont move this past weekend. (Good NIGHT my neice has a ton of stuff...) Unfortunately, said medication really aggravated my stomach.

Well, hopefully I can take a lunch break at work that does NOT involve junky fast food. Though, my appetite sucks too.

BODIES MUST WORK PERFECTLY OKAY?!