Season of Hunger's Journal

7:34pm: 250.  That's -30 from January.  Diet is going well, I don't seem to be suffering any of the medical horrors my friends have been warning of, and I'm slowly but steadily loosing.  I'm out of the induction phase so technically I can increase the ammount of carbs I eat by 5g a day, but I think I'll just stay pretty strict for now, at least until I lose a bit more.  Been taking lots of vitamins, feel good about that, although I should probably be getting more sleep.  Ah well, can't have everything right?    

2:57pm: <a href="http://www.oneplusyou.com/q/v/cannibal_lunch"><img border="0" src="http://www.oneplusyou.com/q/img/badges/cannibal_lunch_20_cannibals.jpg" alt="How many cannibals could your body feed?" /></a><br />Created by <a href="http://www.oneplusyou.com/">OnePlusYou</a>

12:14pm: 255
Fourth day of atkins is here.  And I stepped on the scale for the first time since Monday.  255.  Monday if you'll recall was 265.  No idea how much of that is water weight.  But I will admit to being pleasantly suprised.

10:52am: Good thing I started the diet today.  A weekend of eating Subway and a chinese buffet yesterday knocked me back up to 265... I know it's a bad idea to weigh yourself every day, but as long as I accept fluctuation as part of the process and try not to obsess too much I should be ok.

8:37am: Another Beginning.
Ok.  It's been a long time since I've posted in here.  I've yo-yo'd up and down.  More time up than down I'm sad to say.  Working tech-support for a couple years knocked me up to 280.  And that's the highest I've been.  I got it down to 250 last year and then it slipped back up following some unhappiness I'd rather not get into now.

So let's start with that.  January I was 280.  I joined a gym and now in April I'm down to 260.  Still MUCH higher than I want to be.  My goal is to reach my BMI level of 180.  No matter how long it takes.  Starting today I'm going to be doing Atkins, and that's why I've reopened this journal.  To keep me focused on that plan.

I'm off to the gym now.

1:41pm: I did in fact go running last Saturday. It felt good, but all this week I've been sick, probably more from exhaustion and wearing a crappy sweaty halloween costume for 8 hours a night on the weekend. Hopefully it won't come back after this weekend. Ugh.

I'm doing ok on eliminating the things I put a line through last week, but there have been slips. I think I drank two sodas, ate a meatball sub and a Hardey's Slider. Which isn't good at all. But other than that I've been keeping to foods that are better for me.

3:22pm: Pancakes. Waffles. Syrup. Milkshakes. Processesed meat and cheese.

On my other journal I recently outed myself as an asexual. My friend KT pointed out that a good way to increase sex drive is to lose weight. Well, I already wanted to lose weight and I have been working towards that goal. Although admittedly a bit half-heartedly in the last few months due to some pressing concerns taking away my focus. So I will take this opprotunity to rededicate myself to the goal of getting in shape not only for the good it will do my health and mental well being, but also to find out wether the low setting on my internal hormone volume knob might increase with the decrease in fatty tissue. My immediate goal is to drop the rest of the 30 pounds that keeps me so high above 200. Once I get to 200 I'll reconnoiter and work on eventually getting down to waht the BMI says is the proper weight for my height, 180. I think I weighed 180 sophmore year of high school. So that'll be interesting.

12:59pm: I haven't weighed myself today, but every time in the last month has been 230. I think it's time to start deleting things from my personal menu. Soda, Pizza, hamburgers, fries, cake, ice cream, subs, all you can eat restaurants. Ugh. I want to see some damn progress. Saturday I'm going to the cross country track and doing a circuit.

11:02pm: I haven't weighed myself today, but the last 4 or 5 times I did it read 230. I'm more concerned with moving my residence and surviving various hurricanes and other calamities than with what I am eating presently. Hopefully soon I shall have the oprrotunity to spend more time and thought on my dietary concerns, but that is not today.

11:32am: 230
Broke even. The walking, dancing, running around, not having set meal times benefit of being at a convention was offset by the crap food I did eat and the hours of sitting on my ass in cars and such.

In some ways I wish life was always as exciting as it is when at conventions or on vacation, but I don't think I'd survive it.

1:49pm: 230
So... back again. Any weight loss was either a mistake on the part of the scale, or a temporary drop in water weight. Or maybe my body can't stand it when it thinks I'm trying to get rid of it and if it sees the scale drop down at all beings absorbing moisture from the air to keep me heavy. Or maybe I should stop obsessing so damn much.

going away for the weekend. Be back tuesday. Some time not thinking about this might do me good. It's a new day. A new beginning.

8:15am: 228
Progress. I feel like crap and my life is falling apart, but at least I lost a little more weight.

It's good to have goals.

9:20am: 225
THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I haven't paid any attention to my diet for over a week because of the shit that's been going on in my life. I've been eating whatever, KFC, Burgrs, oodles and oodles of noodles... and I've lost 5 pounds?

I don't want to complain, I'm happy to lose the weight, but WTF? I think my scale is making fun of me.

9:19am: 230
Was there any doubt?
The sad part is, I'm not even sure that I'd weigh less now if I hadn't had the binge. And I guess it might be considered a stretch calling three full meals each day for three days a binge... but when you've been dieting pretty straight for over a month it sure feels like it.

10:57am: I have no damn idea. I binged this weekend. No real excuse other than there was a hurricane coming and I wanted to be full when it hit. Pizza, chinese food, mac and cheese. Lots of really bad bad stuff.

On the bright side I picked up 7 hours of physical labor last night, so that's like getting paid for exercising. Which is good because my car is dead and I need money desperately.

So... I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning and hopefully not end up further depressed.

12:08pm: 229
I tried to do the insomnia diet bit last night. Stay up so I have extra hours of awake calorie burning going through my system, but I gave up at 5 and forgot to switch my alarm on, so I was late for work. 5 hours of sleep makes me feel all sorts of buarhangggg durr. Also the brand of fog they use at the club puts a weird taste in my mouth.

shave and a hair cut. two bits.

11:37am: 229
Work work work. no time to update.

11:34am: 230
I will lose weight. By Crikey. No more treading water.... please.

10:06am: Ugh.

I haven't weighed myself in days. Each day I don't update this thing is a day I'm not thinking about my diet as much as I should. Starting tomorrow I'm going back to updating every morning. I will lose this weight by golly. Come hell or high water!

11:19am: 230
I'm going to be away for several days this week. So I shall revert to updating daily as I was before.

Good things this weekend. Dancing at clubs. Going to swing class.
Bad things: Taco Bells new menu. Not something I'm going to have to worry about but, I tried it and now regret it. Going to a party was a good thing, bad eating/drinking habits I revert to at party a bad thing.

Meh.

Hopefully my step-mom will stock the fridge as I requested with lots of salad stuff. That'll be helpful for wed-sun.

8:42am: 229
It takes so much effort and concentrating on eating the right stuff to go down at all. But just a small lapse to rocket back up. Ah well. That's why it's a challenge and something worth doing.

It felt like I ate a lot yesterday, but I think in the end I ate a of salad and good stuff and only a little bit of things that are bad for me. But hey, if I can fill up on romaine and spinach leaves, it's better than filling up on greasy burgers or pizza.

8:35am: 230
Too busy at work yesterday to post. But it would have been the same frigging post as the last week or so. I think from now on I'll just post when there is a new number to put into the subject line. Hopefully those numbers will be decreasing.

10:14am: 230
As much as I hate writing the same number here day after day, I hate writing a higher number much more. Must be patient, must keep in mind the final goal and work towards it with every decision. Health comes first. Losing a lot of weight won't mean anything if I get sick for 3 months again and gain it back from atrophied muscles and too much bed rest.

12:37pm: 230
Went to a concert last night, turns out there was a swing dance lesson before said concert. I learned a few steps but when the bands actually started up was rather too shy and unsure in my swing ability to go ahead and ask anyone to dance. Ended up dancing a bit during the last two songs of the night and then headed over to the new goth/industrial/whatever night that the Underground is putting on. Danced my butt off there, talked to a bunch of friends and mostly made a nuisance of myself where I could.

It was good times. And I'm almost back (weight wise) to where I was before I left for my dad's last week. There's an anime convention today, but I'm cash poor currently and don't honestly think I could survive subjecting myself to that many otaku.

8:58am: 233
Knock, knock.
Who's there.
Status quo.

Bah. A friend was trying to convince me that dieting doesn't work. Why is it when I try to do something positive everyone around me tells me it's useless and I should just fall back into my old routines of bad behavior?

Went dancing to burn some calories last night, my throat feels much worse today and I think I'm developing an alergic reaction to those stupid fog machines.