John Q. Private

02:18 am - Boston get together ideas?

I'm planning to be in Boston next weekend, and would like to host a gathering of some random folks. Last time I did this, i used the Cambridge brewing company. Is it still around? Is there someplace that has a private room for 10-25 or so people that might be reasonable to rent on a Saturday?

I'd like T accessibility, cool space that people can wander in and out of and catch up.

04:26 pm - Words..fail...must...post

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080116/od_nm/clowns_odd_dc

06:00 am - In the drunk tank

An old man said to me, wont see another one

And then he sang a song

The rare old mountain dew

I turned my face away

And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one

Came in eighteen to one

Ive got a feeling

This years for me and you

So happy christmas

03:15 am - Well, at least all your innermost thoughts aren't owned by GOOG

They're owned by a Russian company you've never heard of. Six Apart Announces New Home for LiveJournal.

I for one, welcome our new Soviet masters.

06:45 am - 185 republicans can't be wrong

Even when they vote for the Vice President to be impeached.

03:35 am - Bad Luck Guy

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up King and Parliament.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

02:16 am - In Boston

Nov 15-23. Busy much of that, but have some free time in the plan. Let me know if you want to get together.

05:18 pm - Dear IRS,

I understand you have some questions about my recent returns.

I'd like to make clear, John Q. Private doesn't cheat on his taxes. The relevant people have been fully briefed. I don't see any need to share further documentation, and in fact, I can't, in order to keep the relevant information private.

Yours,

A taxpayer.


PS: If this isn't clear, see this.

05:27 am - Dear Everybody

Please fucking fuck off with the fucking facebook already, m'kay?

I'm sick and tired of the social network site of the month club.

Friendster, Tribe, Spoke, Orkut, Linkedin, Myspace, Facebook, who the fuck cares that you've web 2.0'd me?

I'm tired of the "collecting friends" game. I'm tired of entering my socal network into sites funded by the goddamned CIA, Google, or Harvard dropouts. I've met Harvard dropouts. They bore me. So does your request.

So please don't take it wrong when I don't respond. You want to network? Buy me beer. Call me on the phone. Drop me email. Spam me with your life updates.

Just drop the damned "invite" to be an eyeball for some wanker who missed psychology 101 and is now an "entrepreneur."

"John"

03:07 am - Dear local sports teams,

Please go fuck yourselves.

Thank you,

Those whose commutes are screwed up by your fans trying to drive to your location.

No really--traffic in Seattle isn't bad. Every time it's really screwed me, it's been either a sports event or snow. I think we're running about 80% sports.

Can you all just go away?

Thank you.

03:05 am - Veggie Booty?

I'd say they'd let people name anything anything these days, but clearly not.

02:33 am - What technology is really for

So the vet gave me these awesome cat treats with a hole in the middle. You put the pill in the hole. Gobble gobble. This is most excellent when, for no apparent reason, your cat decides that her skin really doesn't work well, and that she needs, post-haste, to claw her way through it, and then when you ask, in your nicest, we're not gonna blame this on you voice, what's wrong, she just sort of looks at you with this look in her eyes like, 'hey, i'm tough and can take it, chill out,' but doesn't really answer the question, and then, without a trace of irony, proceeds to scratch off the scab which you'd thought was developing nicely and maybe it was just a moment of demonic possession, thus leading you to the conclusion that the bozo vet who sold you the $60 tube of flea stuff wasn't really on top of their game but taking advantage of a worried you, and that the other vet, specializing in cats, even on the other side of town is much nicer and more skilled so you resolve to go over there even before you realize that they have these amazing cat treats, saving you and your cat from the trauma of eating pills.

That's what technology is really for.

Even if your cat ends up on rabbit food because they figure its probably a food allergy, and your best bet is to give your cat a protien she's likely not had, like duck, venison, rabbit or ostrich. I kid you not. The cat's eating better than me. Rabbit food, indeed.

03:26 am - "We were 10 miles from barstow when the captian kirk impersonator kicked in."

read this story. Then realize that every story should contain the words "Captain Kirk Impersonator."

07:38 am - How can it be wrong...

If it feels so right?

It's a whole lotta sabbath... http://www.mashuptown.com/2007/02/black_zepplin_w.html

02:12 am - Dear Mr. Fedex

It's really not acceptable to tell me my new computer left Portland, OR on the morning of Jan 13th, and you haven't seen it since. It really makes me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

07:46 pm - Augusto Pinochet's Death Reported

Unlike the thousands of innocents he murdered. Even in this, there's no justice.

10:59 am - Dear Dan Kaminsky

My liver hates you. My stomach hates you. My head hates you. I can barely keep the coffee down. I'm never explaining DNS to you again.

08:01 pm - In the department of notes to self

that other people might find useful, but really, its just a literary device to talk about a story about my evening, and its not even that interesting a story, or a literary device, but I employ it anyways, because the story that I'd like to share with you, you see, its neithr very big nor very exciting, but it's what passes for excitement of the irked kind around here at 8 pm on a tuesday evening, but anyway, on with the literary device, or perhaps even the note to self will help enhance the dramatic tension:

Single-bagged Trader Joe's bags do *not* carry three bottles of wine reliably before the handles break.

On the bright side, the pasta prevented two of the bottles from breaking, and the paper bag reliably held the glass in, if not the wine, now dripped all over my neighborhood.

11:06 pm - Dear Mr. Rotor rooter

Thats impressive technology you got there. impressively loud. And while I respect your craftsman-like dedication to your task at 11:00 PM, a little attention paid to the fellow outside whose window you are, while I ask you how long this all is gonna take, would be appreciated, as, you see, the issues with which you are dealing are probably the same motherfucking ones that caused my toilet to dump an inch of water on the bathroom floor, and caused the little hose inside the tank to so overpressurize that the lid lifted up, and you know maybe that information would be of value to you as you do whatever the heck it is you're doing outside my window but hey maybe not, perhaps you're a maestro of such virtue and virtuosity that you're used to irked people telling you shit you already know, but, eh, this sentence bores me and my back hurts from mopping.

09:20 pm - Dear Aroraborealis

ptbbtbhthththtbtbthththththttt!