Graphics and fades?

1. Having a FaceBook page means I am required to apologize to old friends on a weekly basis for what I did to them in the 90's. I know I was (icon) a complete asshole then (and possibly now), but I don't remember enough to get specific in my reparations. This is why I no longer drink or do drugs. The rest of you, carry on. The money I save on not beer goes to making a better wild frog feeder for the blind.


2. I'm not a huge history freak, but I just took a walk through a tiny pre-Civil War town in Virginia and viscerally felt guilt and death soaked into the walls and hills. How does this relate to the above? I have family from the era / area who almost certainly owned slaves, because we were here since the Mayflower.


How does the poser relate to the first paragraph? It's an all ages show, so any of the mistakes I made in the 90's could come to a Chapstik show for the first time in years with a Suicide Machine watching.

Too far away? Here:


Don't like my band:
CHROME Helios creed:
09/28/08 Pike Room, Pontiac MI

This is wrong on so many levels: Future VP / McCain wife in a church, spewing a bizarre, borderline Dominionist Christian philosophy about war (delivered in an Upper Midwest accent with a voice and vocabulary that makes Fran Drescher sound like Orson Welles).



Here she is as during her stint as a young basketball player thanking Jeeeesus for the win:

OK maybe it's her nerdy sister...and they lost.


Here's the VP showing her child what the next 40 years of her nightmares will be about: animals bleeding inches away, because of what mommy did...





Obama's not a dumbass. He's going aggressive, by agreeing to be interviewed by Fox / O'Reilly interrogators only on the day McCain makes his acceptance speech. The Billbots are livid that Obama played him.

Wal Mart Wolverines (non-alum Michigan fans) have been pleasantly less day-glo lately (might have something to do with how well their teamz is playin'), making Ann Arbor and SE MI almost pleasant this Fall. This realization came after spending time in Columbus, OH on a game day and running into...


Direct comparisons of UM/OSU fan populations would be unfair because:
If you see anyone wearing an Ohio State shirt in public, you can be pretty sure they actually went to the school, since the enrollment is approximately 800,000,000 per year. And the campus comprises 93% of Ohio.

Though Columbus is the largest city in OH, they have no real pro sports teams. OSU is it for communal venting. And one game matters more than any other.

The vitriol directed at Michigan on local radio is entertaining when passing though safely in my Kenworth, but driving the Chapstik tour train into town with MI plates was unnerving, at first.

Our Buckeye hosts (the amazing Lo-Pan) were totally cool, inviting us to a BBQ at their place before the show to eat, clean up and play with their elephantine dogs.

After they played with us at Small's, I returned the favor by taking them to Abe's, having them stay at the Ypsi HQ, and ride the McFish:

While at Abe's I had to assure the guys that they were not in Ann Arbor, but it was close. That was close enough for a few really loud exclamations of "ANN ARBOR'S A WHORE" directed at groups of anyone who looked like they'd be UoM students willing to fight. Though 4am on a weekend is zero hour for fights at Abe's, none of the skins or EMU students took them up on it.

I'm still alive because they never found out that I went to LSU.

Also,
09-27 Detroit, MI - St. Andrews Hall = santogold

I'll probably have to do a podcast to completely recount the trip I took with mi esposa in the truck on an all-vegan-eatin' mission. This was through Cheney's Meatland USA (WY and NE), so it was a challenge. Here's one of my stomach experiments:

(I probably should have pulled over)

Worst part: having to find a place to park and sleep as far away as possible from a pig hauler filled with SCREAMING piglets overpacked into a hot / then cold trailer.

Cannibals (especially German ones)say that human flesh tastes very close to pork. Truckers know that pigs in livestock haulers sound a lot like toddlers being disemboweled alive.

Best part: Cannibalistic Dentist chairs in the middle of nowhere:

At some venues, the backstage areas should be called the Brown Room

Reminder, Neptune would come out with his frog spear tonight:

Chapstik DanG getting THAT WHEELING FEELIN!

Pseudo-creepy Salt Lake City surprises with all the strip clubs, tattoo parlors on every corner, and decent rock clubs (just missed Bob Log III!).

But Wyoming does not disappoint in the Cheney veiney: Lots of GOP cowboys and taxidermy...

In the middle of nowhere, at 8300 feet, in Wyoming:



Bear: Is that an exit? I'm sick of gay Republican lumberjacks hitting on me.

Antelope 1: Do you smell a bear.
Antelope 2: No just plexiglass.